Sleep Questions
Sleep is definitely one of the hardest parts of parenting. Usually no one is getting enough of it. I hardly remember the first 6 months of my oldest child’s life because I was so sleep deprived.
People also have very strong opinions on sleep.
“Co-sleeping is not acceptable!”
“Co-sleeping is best for the baby.”
“Sleep training is the only way your baby will ever sleep through the night.”
“I can’t let my baby cry!”
It’s really hard to know what’s best when everyone is telling you something different.
Well, today, I’m going to try to tackle a question about sleep…along with my wonderful panel of mommy bloggers on our third Ask Away Thursday. If you missed the first two, you can read them HERE and HERE. Ask Away Thursday is a chance for you to ask me and my mommy blogger tribe for our advice on a parenting question or situation. Danielle from Serene Mom , Iyanna from Yannivlovely, Nikki from Healing Mama Remedies, and Irina from Homegrown Adventures will be weighing in on the question too. So, here it is:
The Question
My mommy question is, how long did it take you to get your child to go to sleep by himself? My son is 6, and he always wants me to lie down with him at night. I have been doing it since he was 3, but thought he would grow out of it.
Honestly, I could have written this question myself.
My oldest child has never been a good sleeper. He flat out refused to sleep in his crib, after sleeping the first couple months in a bassinet. He ended up co-sleeping with us until he was almost 3-years-old.
Since then, he occasionally sneaks in our bed in the middle of the night, and my husband always has to read him a story and lay down with him for a few minutes at bedtime. My son is also 6-years-old now, and in kindergarten.
In answer to your question, and how we’re tackling this at our house, is slowly stopping the laying down part. My husband doesn’t mind reading him a story, but then he gets tired and wants to wind down himself. So, he’s been staying in for an extra 10 minutes and leaving, even if my son is still awake…unless my husband has fallen asleep too. I think next, he’ll decrease to 5 minutes, until it’s just a story, and goodnight.
I think all children and their sleep habits are very different. Our twins, for example, went straight from their Rock ‘N Plays to cribs no problem. We always just put them in their cribs, now toddler beds, and they put themselves to sleep. No waking in the night or sneaking in (well, their door is closed so they couldn’t escape if they wanted to.)
So, while you may be ready for him to get to sleep on his own, he’s just not quite there yet, and that’s OK. Just take it slow, so that you’ll both be comfortable and everyone can get a good night’s sleep.
Now, you can check out what Danielle, Iyanna, Nikki, and Irina have to say by just clicking on their names. If you have a question, please feel free to email us at momstribeadvice@gmail.com
One Last Announcement
Also, today, I’m very excited to announce that I’m contributing to another fabulous blog called Lose the Cape. I have my first post going live today, and I’m talking all about saving money. Please head over HERE to read my post. While you’re there, look around a bit and read some other great posts by some really great writers.
That is wonderful that you twins sleep so good by themselves! I think your advice is really good, take it slow!
Oh the big topic of sleep when you’re a Mama, thanks for sharing! My little one is only 9 months, but I feel like the number one question we get is about sleep. Thanks for sharing!
Erin, Attention To Darling
Sounds like good advice. And congrats on your post on the other blog too!
Thank you!
Great advice! I know when I was younger my little sister would come crawl up in my bed after my parents has fallen asleep. They finally caught on to the fact that she was not sleeping in her own bed and had to find solutions to make her not afraid to sleep alone. I agree that it varies by every kid.
Awe. That’s pretty cute, though. I wonder if the twins sleep so well because they have each other in the room? Maybe we’ll put all three in a room soon 😉
I was thinking that too! My brother used to crawl into my bed when he had nightmares instead of my parents.
Awe. I’m seriously going to consider it.
My little one loved his Rock n’ Play too! At around 2 months we started putting him in his own crib at night (although it made me so sad!) and he’s pretty much slept there ever since. Both my hubby and I get so nervous about co-sleeping – we’re both worried we’ll roll over on him or something, and it keeps us waking up half the night! So we don’t really do it. But you are so right, every baby’s sleep routine is different, and you have to do what works for all of you!
I agree. Thank you Jenn!
Awesome post Shann! Wish I had these kind of resources when my kids were little 🙂 Thanks for sharing this information! Congrats to you for being able to contribute to another awesome blog!
Thank you Joan!
I used to fall asleep before my kiddos did when I would lay down with them. Not sure why it is so difficult for kiddos to fall asleep when all we can think of is sleeping.:) Yes, taking it slow is so important. Everyone is different. I’m so glad your twins are great sleepers for you. I can only imagine how hard it would be if they were not. 🙂
I know! I don’t think I would survive if they weren’t 🙂
My son was always easy to put down for bed. But I breastfed my daughter until she was a year old and that deleted her sleeping on her own. She didn’t sleep through the night until she was one and since I was breastfeeding, cosleeping was the best option for us (I barely had to wake up, boob milk is always hot and ready haha!) But she is now three and rarely sleeps through the night to this day. She tries coming into bed with me (my husband works nights so he’s not home) sometimes i put her back in her bed, sometimes I just leave her with me. Its a work in progress, but honestly I don’t get too stressed about it.
delayed*
I nursed my oldest and co-slept too, and he’s the same way 🙂
Congrats Shann for becoming a contributor to another blog and nice initiative of starting this concept of asking questions related with Parenting. And yeah I love your sleeping picture.
Thank you so much Anamika!
Sleeping is such a sensitive topic for moms and I think you handled it well! It’s important to remember that every child is different and every parent is different as well. With all the different factors involved, ultimately, everyone has to decide this one for themselves. Thanks for sharing your wisdom!
Thank you so much!
I am not a mom but these seem like great tips to know (and have at the back of your mind) for when you need them 😉
Congrats on the opportunity to contribute to another blog, major win!! I just went over to the other blog and checked out your post, such helpful tips to save money – the one thing I haven’t done is install ibotta, going to instal soon thanks to your recommendation 🙂
xx, Kusum | http://www.sveeteskapes.com
Awesome. Thank you so much Kusum!
Our daughter is seven and one of us still lays down with her for a bit. I feel like it’s only a season and then we will miss it. Every family should do what works for them. 🙂
Agreed. Thank you.
Oh sleep! One day I hope to get a chance to experience it again.
Oh no! I hope you do too!
Hi Shann!
Great advice! the big topic of sleep when you’re a Mama. every baby’s sleep routine is different, and you have to do what works for all of you! I love your sleeping picture.
Thanks for the sharing this. 🙂
Thank you!
I didn’t realize until these last couple of years that sleep and parenting was such a hot button issue! I recently read a blog where she was calling those that sleep train “abusers”. So harsh! I think the biggest thing is that every child is different, and what may work with one won’t necessarily with another, like you stated :).
Wow. Abusers. Yikes 🙂
We partially co-slept. It’s different with each kid like you said. I think you gave great advice.
Thank you!
Great question! Every child is different and every parent is different. Like you stated, you have to do what makes you and your family work. Neither of my kids were good sleepers. Inevitably I would fall asleep in one of their beds, wake up, go to my own bed and wake up in the morning with one of them squeezed in next to me. They stopped between ages 5-7. Then I missed it.
Good advice! Getting kids to sleep is such a complicated thing. But hey, one day they’ll be teenagers, and they won’t want to get up. I guess the struggle continues, it just changes form 🙂 Good tips!
Ha ha! Exactly! Thank you!
I hate that we judge other parents. If families choose co-sleeping or crying it out, that is their choice.