How Will You Improve Your Child’s Behavior?
Parenting is not an easy job. Every parent wants a child with good behavior.
Wait!
Are you encouraging bad behavior in your child?
I know, you would never do that, but it might happen that unknowingly you are doing that.
Children learn to behave badly, just like the way they learn to be nice and well-mannered.They take everything literally. The way you behave with them goes a long way in building their personality.
Most of us tend to repeat the behavior which we learned from our parents. But let me tell you, times have changed. We need to pass on moral values, good etiquette, and behavior so that the child becomes a nice person in the future.
Here are some tips you can follow to improve your child’s behavior.
Spend one-on-one time with your child
The most important thing you can do is spend time with your child every day. Make sure that your child feels valued and heard.
Give them positive attention and connect with your child emotionally.
Doing so, they will refrain from negative ways of seeking attention. Make a routine to spend at least 20 to 30 minutes with your child every day.
You can try the following ways:
- Once your little one is able to read, select a book to read together. You can discuss the characters and what is going to happen at the end.
- Sit down with your child’s favorite toy and play with him/her. Giving your child a few minutes of play is always priceless.
- Before putting your child to bed, chat for a bit and pray together. These conversations are special, and an easy way to build in a tradition of one-on-one time every day.
- Plan a mommy or daddy date to spend quality time with your little darling! Get your child ready and dress up.Your child will feel special and loved by your thoughtful planning.
Communicate
Try to communicate with your child in a nice but firm way. Trust me, you will get better results.
Set aside a specific time for talking and listening to each other. You can do this during family meals. Be open to talking about all kinds of feelings including joy, anger, frustration, fear, and anxiety. This will help your child to develop a “feelings vocabulary”.
Understand your child’s body language. For example, if the child is sitting very quiet or anything which seems unusual to you, ask what has happened to him/her.
While listening to your child, don’t try to jump in, stop them, or put words in his/her mouth.
Your child learns how to communicate by watching you. So, politely talking to your child gives a powerful message about fruitful communication.
Reward “good” behavior
Try to reward your child whenever he/she does something good! This way, you can impart a positive reaction to your child. It will help your child to stay motivated and inspired to continue with good behavior.
As a reward, I would not suggest something material. Too many gifts can make your little darling not value things and appreciate less.
How about rewarding your child in a different way?
Show your affection to your child!
It’s the best way to reward your child. It comes instantaneously and you can do so whenever your child does something good!
For example, give your child a high five or a pat on the back or a cuddle. You could also pack your bags for a short trip or plan an activity to spend quality time with your child.
Express your love
No doubt, a simple “I love you” strengthens the relationship of a parent with a child. You can easily say how much you love your child and make a great bond with the little one.
“I love you” is one of those things which we can’t say enough. Find ways to express your love for your child like words, acts of kindness, play, touch, etc.
For example, you can write a surprise “I love you” note in the child’s lunchbox, bake cupcakes and write “I love you” on it, spell “I love you …(name of the kid)” in the magnets on the fridge.
The best way to display your love to your kid is providing your presence. That’s all they want! No matter what, be with your child always and love the little one unconditionally!
Pay attention to your child
As your child talks, nod your head and repeat what you think they are feeling. This will imply that you are listening to your child actively.
For example, your child is feeling sad that his blocks have fallen.
“It sounds that you are really sad that your blocks fell down”
Console them this way, and it will help to cope with tension and frustration. Your child will feel respected and comfortable in sharing problems with you.
Keep your promises
Never break a promise to your child. Being a parent, when you don’t, you are teaching the child not to trust you.
Basically what happens is that, by promising something, you are assuring your child that he/she is important to you. It shows your integrity, and helps the child develop an understanding of trust and respect for others.
Breaking your promise makes the child feel neglected, unwanted, and unimportant.This may lead your child to disobey and lose respect for you.
So, if you want your child to be a promise keeper, you need to be one too!
Set your tone and be an example
Parents are a child’s first teachers. They learn what you do, not what you say. You can use your own behavior to guide your child. The little one watches you and gets clues about how to behave.
If you want your child to say “please” before saying something, say it yourself first.
Don’t be addicted to electronic gadgets
Electronic gadgets help us stay connected and updated, but at the same time, we use them for entertainment purpose too.
You might think that your child won’t be able to understand this, and you use the electronic gadgets in front of them.
Children do learn very quickly.
So, don’t get glued to the electronic devices for entertainment purpose. Also, don’t hand over your phone just to keep them occupied. Rather, learn to be physically active and engage in some outdoor sports with your child.
Learn to say No
Jayne Bellando, Ph.D., a pediatric psychologist at Arkansas Children’s Hospital said, “If your kids are complaining and irritable, you have to be the one to show them the right way to act”.
Your child might throw tantrums for something, but if you give in to the kid’s whining, you are indirectly training her to whine more.
Make sure that your “no” means “no”, not maybe.
However, a straight “no” can be too harsh for your little one. If kids hear “no” all the time, they lose confidence and faith in their parents. So, if you don’t like your child’s action, give them different options.
For example, instead of saying “No shouting”, you can say “Please talk softly”.
Use time-out
You might come across certain situations where your child is misbehaving and proper reasoning, alternate options, and calmness aren’t working. In that case, you can use time-out for your child.
Guide your child at the designated time-out spot (usually a quiet and safe place with no distractions) at your home to sit for some time. This way, you both will get a chance to calm down. Besides, it will give a message to your child that his/her negative behavior won’t get any attention.
Hold back the privileges
If your child is not behaving properly, respond by taking away something the child values. For example, you can take away his/her favorite toy for a certain amount of time.
Remember, you aren’t taking away something which the child needs like food, sleep, etc.
The bottom line is, you have to be a role model for your child. Your behavior towards the child and other people will reflect on the little one.
About the Author
Even though Valentina Wilson is not a biological parent, she is a parent by choice. She is the proud mother to her niece, after an accident took her mother and grandfather when she was just a baby.
She is now a proud and busy working mother to her princess and her dog, Buddy.
Valentina is a personal financial blogger. She loves to analyze personal financial matters and help others manage their finances in a better way. Traveling is also her passion. She loves to travel and explore different places all by herself.
To connect with her, go to Twitter @Valenti11423079, or visit Bestdebtconsolidation.org.
The one on one time is absolutely key. As a mama with four kids I know it’s hard to get that in but it doesn’t have to be specific outings. My daughter and I hang out before/after her dance classes. My son is chatting in his room, the younger two like individual craft or play time. Nothing crazy, but I learn a lot about each of them in the process.
So many useful tips in here that I’m glad to have come across. When that time comes for me, I know I’ll be turning to you for advice and guidance—and you have some incredible contributing writers on your blog! Thanks got sharing (and Valentina’s no is fascinating). Xoxo