A Family Split Apart: Casey’s Story

Family Split Apart

A family split apart for any reason is difficult. It’s almost impossible when it’s because the newest member is sick and in the hospital.

Even though the birth of a baby is sometimes stressful, it’s usually a very joyful time for a family. When the baby is born too early, too small, or too sick, it can be scary for everyone involved, especially the siblings. They may be too young to understand fully what is going on, but they still can sense that something is wrong. Especially when it takes Mom and Dad away from them.

When I gave birth to my twins at 25 weeks, I had a 2-year-old at home. He didn’t understand why mommy had to lay down most of the pregnancy (bed rest) or why she had to go and stay at the hospital. In fact, we had never been apart for even a night before my pregnancy. He was shuffled from Grandparents to Aunts and Uncles’ houses, and didn’t understand why. Everyone told me that he would never remember and be fine, but it still hurt me deeply. I missed being able to take care of him, and just missed him.

Once the babies were in the NICU, it was like I had to split my heart in two. They only allowed children over the age of 3 in the hospital. Plus, it was a dark, quiet place, for preemies and sick babies to heal, and not a place for toddlers. Having your heart and family split apart is something no mother should ever have to do.

But, we do it. No matter how hard it is for everyone involved, we do it because we love everyone involved. Today’s parents know the struggle of having family split apart and siblings at home while their baby struggles in the NICU.

Please meet Casey, as told by her Mom, Karen.

Cassandra

1. Tell us about your baby.

 

2. How long was your NICU stay? What was the hardest part?

She spent 114 days in the NICU. Her lungs were compromised from not having any fluid for 5 weeks post rupture. She spent 5 weeks on the ventilator which was really hard. In the end, feeding was her biggest obstacle. She would desat horribly and the nurses just kept pushing and pushing.

We tried to celebrate all her milestones, but honestly, the longer we were there the harder it was.  We had 3 other kids at home so we would try to incorporate them into celebrating!!

3.Do you know what caused your premature birth?

 They believe that my chronic bleeding throughout pregnancy could have contributed to my water breaking. There was also some speculation that having my IUD removed at 8.5 weeks could possibly have called a very small test which eventually ruptured.

They don’t know.

I spent 5 weeks on bed rest.  Three were at home, and two weeks admitted to hospital. It was very difficult with 3 kids at home.

Our best support came from other parents who were there in the trenches with us. They understood. We could just stand there and cry and not be judged.

4.How are you and your baby doing now?

She’s doing very well. She is 7 months old now, 4 adjusted. She is hitting gross motor development. She is slightly delayed with language, however, they tell me this is very common for a micro preemie that was vented for so long.

She was readmitted at 6 months for ROP (Retinopothy of Prematurity) surgery, but once they put her to sleep they discovered that the vessels actually didn’t need laser treatment.

5. What advice would you give to a new preemie family?

 Learn everything you can. Have an informed opinion when you go into meetings or discussions about your baby. And remember, nobody knows your baby better than you do. If something doesn’t feel right, ask questions, it’s your right as a parent.

My best advice is to be kind to yourself, especially when you go home. I was strong in the NICU, and even had some nurses comment on it. When I got home and the stress subsided a little, that’s when everything hit me.

My husband has been writing about our journey (not complete yet) but if you’re interested in reading you can click HERE.

Thank you so much to Karen for sharing sweet Casey and all of her beautiful children with us. I’m so happy that you’re all together now, and not a family split apart by the NICU.