Family Story
When I first received the email from Nicole about her experience with premature birth, she called the journey their
“family story.” I really loved that description because it is absolutely true.
While the actual pregnancy and delivery directly involve the mother, a premature birth, and the circumstances surrounding it, affect the entire family.
Even though I felt responsible for the decisions made during my pregnancy since it was my body, my husband, my oldest son, and the rest of my family had just as big of a stake in what happened. My health, and the health of our babies, was just as important to each one of our family members.
While I had the physical experience, everyone had an emotional experience.
Premature birth is truly a family story.
I’m so happy to introduce you to Donovan, as told by his mom, Nicole.
I call it our family story because, well, if my husband wasn’t home that morning my son, Donovan and I would have died.
Donovan
1.Tell us about your pregnancy.
I got pregnant with our first child, a little boy in February 2016, and I had a great first and second trimester!
August 2016, the end of my second trimester, I started to develop some swelling in my feet and ankles. As the days went on, it started to move to my calves, and it was starting to hurt to walk. I called my OB, she stated that it’s normal especially with the heat, and if my hands and face aren’t swelling I shouldn’t be worried.
On August 26th, I woke up and went to work and just didn’t feel good. I had a headache (I’ve been getting migraines since I was 12) and my legs were swelling slowly. I stuck it out through the day and got home my normal time, so I picked up dinner and literally bummed it on the couch. My husband came home, woke me up and told me to go to bed. I just brushed him off and rolled over.
I woke up at 4am, August 27th with really bad diarrhea, and I started vomiting. I thought it was the chicken I ate for dinner, and I could barely keep my eyes open to talk to my husband. He wanted us to go to the hospital, but I told him we could go in a couple of hours. I went back to the couch to go back to sleep.
I don’t remember anything after that.
I woke up on August 29th, admitted to the hospital and no longer pregnant. I didn’t know if my son was alive or what had happened.
My husband woke up around 8am, and I had moved to the bedroom but I was disoriented. He told me to get dressed, and that we were going to the ER.
That’s when I had the first seizure.
He called for an ambulance and once they got there, I had the second seizure, which caused a hemorrhage in my right eye. They took me to Morristown Medical Center in NJ.
They saved my life and my son’s life.
2.Do you know what caused your premature birth?
They told my husband I had severe sudden eclampsia with HELLP syndrome, and my liver had started to fail. My blood pressure reached 210/180, and they thought i was going to have a stroke or heart attack during my c-section.
My son, Donovan Anthony was born August 27th, 2016 at 1:21pm at 27 weeks and 2 days gestation, weighing 1lb 14oz and 14ins long.
3.How long was your NICU stay? What was the hardest part?
Donovan was in the NICU for 111 days. He never received the benefits from me getting the steroids shot because there wasn’t enough time.
He was intubated for 50 days, had a PDA ligation at 40 days old, contracted 3 infectious diseases by 40 days old, and was tested for meningitis. I can’t even remember how many blood transfusions he had or how much medication was pumped into that little body just to keep him alive.
Feeding was a big hurdle to get over. We ended up finding out he had severe reflux, which actually turned into Gerd.
After his 111 day stay, he came home on oxygen support and pulse ox due to Chronic Lung Disease.
The hardest part of our journey was all of it. I blamed myself for a long time, and even today at 21 months postpartum, I have my bad days. It killed us not being able to touch him or not knowing what was going to happen.
But it definitely brought us closer as parents, friends, and partners.
4.How are you and your family doing now?
I honestly thought leaving the NICU things would get easier, but they didn’t.
We struggled with feedings, and Donovan was ultimately labeled as Failure to Thrive.
Again, it made me blame myself.
But I slowly realized, this is just something that will make us stronger in the end.
Donovan came off of oxygen by 9 months old (actual) and he flourished after that. He was still small, but his physical development and fine and gross motor skills were all catching up!
Now at 21 months old, you’d never know how hard he fought to walk this Earth. Still with a short and tiny boy, I am so grateful to be where we are today.
As for myself, my liver enzymes went back to normal after about 6 months of medication. I was able to stop the blood pressure medications after 5 months. Now at 22 months postpartum, you’d never know what happened to me and how close I came to losing my life.
5.What advice would you give to new preemie parents?
The only thing I regret, is not pushing for the doctor to see me. Now, I advocate for preeclampsia survivors.
Preeclampsia is not talked about enough by woman and doctors. We all should know the signs and be aware of it. I hope my story will reach other moms, or moms to be, and help them understand how serious preeclampsia is.
Don’t be afraid to speak up for yourself!
As for being in the NICU, take it all one day at a time and you are your baby’s voice! Don’t be afraid to speak up for them.
Thank you for reading our family story.
Thank you to Nicole for sharing their family story. Please leave any supportive comments or questions below.
What an amazing “Family Story”!
Isn’t it?! They are amazing. Thank you for reading!