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You are here: Home / Blog / How to Meet and Make Mommy Friends

How to Meet and Make Mommy Friends

July 14, 2015 By Shann 92 Comments

Mommy Friends Needed

When I was pregnant with our first son, I didn’t have any close friends with children, or mommy friends.  I wasn’t worried, though.  I had recently gotten married, and not much had changed.  Once my baby came, I figured we’d just bring our baby out with us or get a sitter.  Our life and friends would not change at all.  As I alluded to in my post last week, boy was I wrong.  Kids change everything, including friendships.

It didn’t really occur to me that all my friends would still be working their full-time jobs, going out most nights, and having time for long, leisurely restaurant dinners, while I would be home all day and exhausted each night.  It’s not that I didn’t still want to go to bars and talk about the hottest new spot, but I actually didn’t.  I wanted someone to commiserate with me over my non-sleeping through the night baby, or someone who wouldn’t care that I was in sweatpants with spit-up on my shirt.  While I loved being able to be home with my son, the first couple months were long and lonely.

will you be one of my mommy friends

 

Changes

I had to make some changes.  I needed some friends that understood the demands of motherhood, and wouldn’t get grossed out talking about dirty diapers.  I needed some mommy friends. I tried a lot of different things, and while not all of my suggestions may work for you, I hope you’ll find at least one way you feel comfortable making new mommy friends.

Where to Look for Mommy Friends

Find Groups Online

Even though my first son was born almost 5 years ago, technology was still a huge help to me.  I have never been a big “joiner” of groups, and truthfully, I’m a little shy when it comes to meeting new people, so the Internet really helped me meet mommy friends.

Meetup

After Googling “Mommy groups,” the first site I found was Meetup. You can search for groups in your area, with any interest you are looking for.  I looked for a stay-at-home moms’ group, but there are working mom groups too.  There are groups for mothers of multiples, single parents, and special needs parents.  Most groups charge a small fee (between $5 and $15) to join, and then they give you access to all of their upcoming events.  They schedule play dates at local parks, the zoo, and even other members’ homes.  You can pick and choose what you want to go to, and there’s an RSVP button so you can see what other members will also be there.  Each member also has a profile with a picture, so you know who you are meeting.  I would choose events that were close to where I lived, and ones that did not have too many people, so I wouldn’t be overwhelmed.  I also looked for activities that fit my child’s age, so there would be mom’s going through the same milestones as me.   I was nervous to go to my first event, but when I realized the other moms were just as nervous, I felt better and had a great time.

Nextdoor

Another great site is Nextdoor. It’s a way for you to create a group in your neighborhood and get to know your neighbors.  After having my second and third (twins,) children, we moved, and I didn’t know anyone around me.  This site allows you to send free postcards inviting all your neighbors to join and create a centralized Website.  Once they join, you can send messages or set up events.  I described our family in our profile, and within a few weeks, I had two moms send me messages about meeting up to take a walk.  This summer we’re having our first block party.

One other AWESOME thing about signing up for Nextdoor, is if you use my referral link and set up your neighborhood with at least 10 neighbors, we’ll both get a $25 Amazon Gift card!  I know it works because I’ve gotten one before.  Just click HERE to be taken to their site and sign up.

Facebook

Of course, last, but certainly not least, there is Facebook. There are tons of mom groups, support groups, and special interest groups, but sometimes it can be a challenge to find local groups.  I stumbled upon a great group of moms through a rummage sale site, so sometimes it’s just a shared interest on top of being a mom.  I also have met tons of great ladies that live all around the US.  Sometimes it’s nice to be able to just have a conversation over the computer or phone without the pressure of meeting in person.  You can really get to know someone without even “meeting” in person.  I, luckily, have had a chance to meet a few non-local people through some fundraising events, and I’m hoping to have more reasons to travel in the future.

Of course, always use caution when meeting new people Online, and don’t put yourself or your children in an uncomfortable or dangerous situation.

Get out and about 

If computers are not your thing, or you are leery of meeting people Online, there are plenty of other ways to meet other parents.  You need to go where kids want to hang out, but sometimes as a new mom, you’re not even sure where those places are.  Here are some ideas.

www.shanneva.com (4)

The Library

Local libraries are a great place to meet other moms and dads.  Most have a story time, and even a little indoor play area.  Some have two story times for different age groups.  Parents go in with the little ones, while the older children just go with the librarian.  This gives you with toddlers a chance to bond over your children who won’t sit still and listen, or if you have an older child, actually talk to another parent for an uninterrupted half hour.  Not all parents are there to meet others.  Some just want a half hour of peace and quiet, which is OK too.  Just look for the cues, (mom sitting and smiling wants to talk, mom with head in a book does not,) and you’ll be fine.

Parks, Zoos, and Playgrounds

Speaking of play grounds, local parks, zoos, and play grounds are another great place to meet other mommy friends.  You can say a quick hello while you’re trying to climb up the ladder to follow your child, or try to start a conversation while pushing your little one in the swings.  While you may not get a big chance to talk, if you start going to the same play ground over and over, you’ll start seeing and being a familiar face, which always helps.  I would always try to keep a smile on my face, and look for kids in the same age range.  “How old is your child?” or “I’m sorry my child just shoved yours on the slide,” are always great openers.

park

Indoor Play Areas

In Wisconsin, we’re definitely in need of indoor spots to meet potential mommy friends for when the weather does not cooperate.   There are plenty of indoor play spots such as open gyms, bounce/trampoline parks, and children’s museums.  If you have young children, however, you may spend all your time chasing them instead of meeting other moms, and they can get expensive.  This is again where I recommend sticking with one place.  You can try out a few to see which fits your personality best, and then purchase a membership or a group of tickets at a cheaper rate.  That way you can save a little money, become familiar with your surroundings, and be “regulars.”

Shopping Malls

If your children are too little, or indoor play is not your thing, the shopping mall is a great alternative for mommy friend making.  There’s no admission charge, there are toy stores, people watching, food, and window shopping for mom.  What’s not to love?  My oldest has always been a huge fan of the different holiday decorations and lights too.  I would frequent the children’s clothing stores so much, that I got to know the sales clerks at my favorite stores.  This led to discussing their children, and friendships started.  I’ve also met people while in the checkout line, or even in the food court.

mommy friends

 

Now remember, even though you will have met a ton of new mommy friends, it doesn’t mean you have to say goodbye to your old friends.  Being a mom is just one part of who you are, and while you may need someone to understand that part, it’s nice to have friends who know the other parts too.

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Filed Under: Blog, Friendship Tagged With: bars, clubs, facebook, friends, friendship, going out, indoor play area, kids, malls, meetup, mommy friends, moms, Nextdoor, old friends, outdoor play area, parks, playground, shopping mall, toddlers, Walks, zoo

Comments

  1. goodenufmommy says

    July 14, 2015 at 8:29 am

    I used Meetup too when I became a new mom! I was desperate to meet people going through the same stage as me! I made some lifelong friendships there and 4 years later our kids have grown up together and are best buddies!

    Reply
    • Shann says

      July 14, 2015 at 9:20 am

      That’s awesome!

      Reply
  2. Jessica says

    July 14, 2015 at 9:07 am

    I’m looking to make mommy friends now. This was very helpful! I’m going to look these up for sure!

    Reply
    • Shann says

      July 14, 2015 at 9:19 am

      Awesome! Thanks!

      Reply
  3. serenemomblog says

    July 14, 2015 at 9:07 am

    Awesome advice. I need to find some mommy friends because my best friend doesn’t have any kids and we barely talk anymore. I like these suggestions, I’ll have to cheek out Next Door. Sounds cool!

    Reply
    • Shann says

      July 14, 2015 at 9:19 am

      Yes, it works really well. They mail out the postcards, so it doesn’t cost you a thing. 🙂

      Reply
  4. Chardae says

    July 14, 2015 at 9:08 am

    I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately as I am my only pregnant friend. My cousins have kids but the youngest is 2. My one friend who will surely listen to Mom stories and hang out is moving out of state in 3 weeks. I looked into Meetup and the one group I like closed down this morning. Ugh! I’ll cruise the local library scene and check out Meetup groups in other areas.

    Reply
    • Shann says

      July 14, 2015 at 9:18 am

      Yes, it is definitely hard at first. If you lived in my area, we could hang out 🙂

      Reply
  5. Jerusha says

    July 14, 2015 at 9:24 am

    It is so hard to meet new people, especially if you never get out (like I don’t… At least, it feels like I don’t). Thank you for giving these tips… I feel like I may branch out a bit! – Jerusha, TheDisneyChef.com

    Reply
    • Shann says

      July 14, 2015 at 2:25 pm

      It IS hard. I know sometimes just getting the kids dressed and into the car is enough of an activity for the day 😉 thanks for reading!

      Reply
  6. Samantha says

    July 14, 2015 at 9:24 am

    Being only 20 and childless, I can still relate to what you say because of my Mothers experiences! I love how you write because even though the topic doesn’t pertain to my life directly, it pulls on my heartstrings where I can try and relate (if that makes sense) …

    I guess the simple comment would have been: great post! Keep writing lol but of course I made it complicated.

    Thanks for sharing girl 🙂

    Reply
    • Shann says

      July 14, 2015 at 2:24 pm

      Thanks Samantha. I really appreciate that…it’s quite a compliment. 🙂

      Reply
  7. Alyssa from The Sparkly Life says

    July 14, 2015 at 9:33 am

    Love this post! I didn’t know about NextDoor or Meetup–both sound awesome! For me, joining local mom groups was a lifesaver after my first child was born!!!

    Reply
    • Shann says

      July 14, 2015 at 2:23 pm

      Thank you!

      Reply
  8. Jaclyn Kent says

    July 14, 2015 at 9:45 am

    These are some great ideas! I was blessed to have (single and married and mommy) friends who adapted with me! Some of my most convenient friends are childless – they can get out and see me at the drop of a dime! Hahaha!

    Reply
    • Shann says

      July 14, 2015 at 2:22 pm

      Very true! 🙂

      Reply
  9. Kathryn says

    July 14, 2015 at 10:01 am

    How about those of us that don’t really like meeting new people even thought we should? Just kidding. Sort of. I would like to make new friends, but have trouble putting myself out there.

    Reply
    • Shann says

      July 14, 2015 at 2:22 pm

      It’s gotten a little easier for me as I get older, but I sometimes struggle with that too.

      Reply
  10. Samantha says

    July 14, 2015 at 10:14 am

    I was just commiserating with some other moms about how hard it is to make friends. And the odd thing is we’re all part of the same huge Mommy Group. This post had some very helpful information. Thank you!

    Reply
    • Shann says

      July 14, 2015 at 2:21 pm

      You’re welcome. Thanks for reading.

      Reply
  11. theconservativemommy says

    July 14, 2015 at 10:19 am

    Friends and relationships certainly do change. I also found a lot of support in online groups. …especially during my pregnancy.

    Reply
    • Shann says

      July 14, 2015 at 2:21 pm

      Yes, me too. Thanks for reading!

      Reply
  12. shelahmoss says

    July 14, 2015 at 10:26 am

    This is great advice. It can be hard to find new mommy friends I was lucky, my husband met this awesome mother at the park who was starting a mommy club. Our kids became best friends the moment they met and all of us moms have become great friends!

    Reply
    • Shann says

      July 14, 2015 at 2:20 pm

      So cool!

      Reply
  13. Brittany Bergman says

    July 14, 2015 at 10:34 am

    I’ve been thinking about this so much lately! I’m in a weird stage where most of my best friends live out of state, but I don’t have super close friends where I live. The friends I do have here are already moms, so I hope to reconnect/deepen those friendships when my first is born! We did just move to a new town, so I’m excited to keep meeting neighbors and new friends in this community. Thanks for these helpful tips!

    Reply
    • Shann says

      July 14, 2015 at 2:20 pm

      You’re welcome! And the best of luck to you.

      Reply
  14. Katrina Turnbull says

    July 14, 2015 at 10:46 am

    Great post on how to meet and make mommy friends. I find it’s so important for especially new mother’s not to isolate themselves. Moms need to connect with women in person for the sake of their mental health. Thank you so much for sharing this with other moms.

    Reply
    • Shann says

      July 14, 2015 at 2:19 pm

      You’re welcome, and thank you for reading.

      Reply
  15. lovinourchaos says

    July 14, 2015 at 11:13 am

    Like you, I too sought out other moms who were in the same stage of life as I was. It’s hard to talk about life with kids to single or no-kid friends. They are clueless! We had some Mommy & Me groups that I joined and connected with other moms! Good advice and tips for new moms!

    Reply
    • Shann says

      July 14, 2015 at 2:19 pm

      Thank you!

      Reply
  16. Cynthia @craftoflaughter says

    July 14, 2015 at 12:09 pm

    this is such important advice and great suggestions!

    Reply
    • Shann says

      July 14, 2015 at 2:18 pm

      Thank you!

      Reply
  17. SimpLeigh Organized says

    July 14, 2015 at 12:58 pm

    These are great tips! I used most of them when I had my daughter 9 years ago and they worked out well for me. I made great connections and our kids are still great friends. Even if you don’t meet people right away, it’s still good to get out of the house!

    Reply
    • Shann says

      July 14, 2015 at 2:18 pm

      Definitely! Thanks for reading!

      Reply
  18. Robin Rue (@massholemommy) says

    July 14, 2015 at 12:59 pm

    I met a lot of my mom friends in my local MOMS Club. It was great to know I was not alone.

    Reply
    • Shann says

      July 14, 2015 at 2:17 pm

      Yes! Thank you.

      Reply
  19. Krystal says

    July 14, 2015 at 3:39 pm

    Great suggestions! I was so lonely with my first that I actually STARTED a meetup group for new moms. That connection is so important!

    Reply
    • Shann says

      July 14, 2015 at 8:32 pm

      That’s awesome!

      Reply
  20. momonthemove35 says

    July 14, 2015 at 4:36 pm

    Wow! I never knew about these sites! I went to a lot of library programs and tried a few mommy groups in the area when my kids were young. Mostly I found friends at our church and when the kids went to school I met a lot of parents and families there.

    Reply
  21. Jasmine says

    July 14, 2015 at 4:43 pm

    I’ve awlays had a hard time making mommy friends. I was a really young mom and could never really relate to anyone. Thanks for sharing the great tips!

    Reply
    • Shann says

      July 14, 2015 at 8:31 pm

      And I had a hard time because I started late, and felt everyone was so much younger. I guess it’s just hard no matter what 🙂

      Reply
  22. Katie @thebrooksielife says

    July 14, 2015 at 4:57 pm

    Great ideas!!! I only have a few friends that have kids but the majority don’t! I really need to make some mommy friends! I tried meet up but it seemed it was all stay at home moms. I’ll have to look again! I love the next door idea!

    Reply
    • Shann says

      July 14, 2015 at 8:30 pm

      It’s a really cool site. Not only can you meet your neighbors, but you can set up rummage sales, block parties, etc.

      Reply
  23. aseersuckerstateofmind says

    July 14, 2015 at 5:21 pm

    Nextdoor sounds amazing! That’s so cool that your can meet like that.

    Mikayla | A Seersucker State of Mind.

    Reply
    • Shann says

      July 14, 2015 at 8:29 pm

      Yes, it’s really worked well. You should try it! 🙂

      Reply
  24. Grace Mountain Diaries says

    July 14, 2015 at 5:23 pm

    YES! It is SO important to have mom friends! That community is such a huge deal when you’re sleep deprived and positive your littles are actually working together to sabotage you! 😉

    Reply
    • Shann says

      July 14, 2015 at 8:29 pm

      Ha ha! It really is! Thank you.

      Reply
  25. sicorra says

    July 14, 2015 at 6:08 pm

    I had heard of meetup but I had never heard of nextdoor.com. What a smart idea, and great that it worked well for you. One thing I do when I move to a new city is check to see if there is a NewCommers Club. Quite often they have events for Moms and Tots to participate in. Have you ever heard of them?

    Reply
    • Shann says

      July 14, 2015 at 8:29 pm

      I haven’t. I’ll have to check and see if my city has anything like that. Thank you for the suggestion!

      Reply
  26. Cathi says

    July 14, 2015 at 6:46 pm

    Libraries and playgrounds were a great place to meet mom friends. Great tips and suggestions!

    Reply
    • Shann says

      July 14, 2015 at 8:28 pm

      Thank you!

      Reply
  27. Samantha says

    July 14, 2015 at 6:54 pm

    Great post! My husband is in the military so we are always moving, and this makes it extra hard! But Facebook and his social activities have been very helpful 🙂

    Reply
    • Shann says

      July 14, 2015 at 8:28 pm

      Awesome! Thanks for reading!

      Reply
  28. Leslie says

    July 14, 2015 at 7:50 pm

    Aww, your kiddo’s are adorable! These are great ideas!

    Reply
    • Shann says

      July 14, 2015 at 8:27 pm

      Thank you!

      Reply
  29. Tina Peterson says

    July 14, 2015 at 8:29 pm

    Hi – this is a very complete post. =D I am a daycare provider and used to be a nanny and I had many of the same problems you did. I think I spent the first 5 years of nanny work on my own. It was so hard making friends – I was able to make sure the kids got out and met friends. Even if that meant we went to burger king and bought milk so I felt good about turning them loose in the playground area. It’s a very isolated life – but the difference you make in that child’s life is so worth it.

    Wonderful post!!!

    Reply
    • Shann says

      July 14, 2015 at 8:34 pm

      Thank you so much Tina!

      Reply
  30. twitchetts.com says

    July 14, 2015 at 8:32 pm

    It is sooo Important to find Mommy friends in life. Trust they need friends as much as you do 😉 just reach out!!!

    Reply
    • Shann says

      July 14, 2015 at 8:33 pm

      Yes! Thank you!

      Reply
  31. Curtis Joseph says

    July 14, 2015 at 9:57 pm

    Great article for mothers who are out of the social loop! This could surely help mothers get out there.

    Reply
    • Shann says

      July 15, 2015 at 7:00 am

      Thank you!

      Reply
  32. Beth@FrugalFroggie says

    July 14, 2015 at 10:29 pm

    It is hard to make friends when you choose to be a stay at home mom. It can be lonely. My kids are getting old enough that I can start enjoying life a little.

    Reply
    • Shann says

      July 15, 2015 at 6:59 am

      Yes, I agree. Glad you can get out now 🙂

      Reply
  33. Shannon Hall says

    July 14, 2015 at 11:05 pm

    I love this post! I don’t have kids, but it’s awesome to know about this kind of stuff in advance. As of right now, I’m one of the only ones of my friends that are married, so I’m guessing the same trend could continue with kids in the future. 🙂

    Reply
    • Shann says

      July 15, 2015 at 6:59 am

      Thank you!

      Reply
  34. Elizabeth O. says

    July 15, 2015 at 4:07 am

    These are great tips. I can relate. I didn’t know a lot of mommy with kids when I had my first child. It’s nice to know that there are support groups where you can make friends with other moms.

    Reply
    • Shann says

      July 15, 2015 at 6:59 am

      Thank you!

      Reply
  35. Ourfamilyworld says

    July 15, 2015 at 4:10 am

    Having mommy friends is important. It’s great that now you can easily find groups where you can meet other moms.

    Reply
    • Shann says

      July 15, 2015 at 6:58 am

      Yes, I agree 🙂

      Reply
  36. jenburby says

    July 15, 2015 at 5:49 am

    Great tips, Shann! After college, it’s so hard finding friends that you have GENUINE (as opposed to surface) connections with. Especially when you’re a SAHM and don’t have the luxury of socializing with co-workers every day. Cheers!

    Reply
    • Shann says

      July 15, 2015 at 6:58 am

      Thank you!

      Reply
  37. Victoria says

    July 15, 2015 at 8:53 am

    I have tried MeetUp before. It is a great way to connect with other moms.

    Reply
  38. Liz Mays says

    July 15, 2015 at 10:08 am

    That’s exactly how I made friends when the kids were younger. It automatically puts you around people with commonalities.

    Reply
    • Shann says

      July 15, 2015 at 4:11 pm

      Awesome!

      Reply
  39. Angela Morales says

    July 16, 2015 at 10:49 am

    I think there’s a big similarity between making friends in your 20s and making friends with other parents/people who understand your life with kids. It’s so freaking difficult! Thank you so much for all the resources! I’ll definitely pass these along and keep them in mind!

    Reply
    • Shann says

      July 16, 2015 at 8:52 pm

      It is difficult at every stage, I totally agree. Thanks for stopping by and reading!

      Reply
  40. Lauren White says

    July 17, 2015 at 9:47 am

    Yes! Finding mommy groups online is easy-peasy! 🙂 Facebook has a ton and the ones that I joined I was actually screened by the moderator before I joined which I thought was absolutely awesome. She asked me a bunch of questions before letting me into the group! 🙂

    Reply
    • Shann says

      July 17, 2015 at 9:14 pm

      That’s awesome, and so smart.

      Reply
  41. Mommy A to Z says

    July 18, 2015 at 5:20 pm

    It can definitely be intimidating meeting new friends when you’re a mom! I was lucky to meet a lot of great first-time moms through a Mommy and Me music class I joined with my daughter. We’re still friends today 🙂 Thanks for sharing at the Manic Mondays blog hop!

    Reply
    • Shann says

      July 19, 2015 at 9:35 pm

      Thanks again for hosting!

      Reply
  42. caitlincheevers says

    July 20, 2015 at 10:42 am

    I’ve never heard of Nextdoor before! It sounds super interesting! Might be useful for me, too, even though I’m not a mom. 🙂
    xo, Caitlin
    And Possibly Dinosaurs

    Reply
    • Shann says

      July 20, 2015 at 1:45 pm

      Yes, it’s great for anyone that wants to get to know their neighbors 🙂

      Reply
  43. momilyhomily says

    August 9, 2015 at 1:56 pm

    What great ideas! I’m struggling with not knowing a lot of people in my immediate area. I’d never heard of those first two sites you mentioned. I’ll have to check those out for sure.
    Great to be co-hosting the #homemattersparty with you this week.

    Reply
    • Shann says

      August 9, 2015 at 2:38 pm

      Thank you so much! Great to be co-hosting with you too!

      Reply
  44. Sarena @ Teal Inspiration says

    August 9, 2015 at 8:59 pm

    These are great ideas. I’m actually in sort of the complete opposite situation, where everyone I know has kids except for me but I’ve used meetup to try to make some friends in the past. It might be time to try something like that again. Thanks for sharing!

    Reply
    • Shann says

      August 9, 2015 at 9:21 pm

      Sure! Thank you for reading!

      Reply
  45. mmgmom says

    August 11, 2015 at 9:26 am

    I use a new app called MomCo. Meeting new friends is really hard. Thanks for your post. Thanks for cohosting #HomeMattersParty

    Reply
    • Shann says

      August 11, 2015 at 12:37 pm

      I’ll have to check out that App. Thank you!

      Reply
  46. Jane @SustainMyCraftHabit says

    August 14, 2015 at 7:00 am

    Such good suggestions. I’ve met lots of mommies at the park :). Also, once the kids start school they start to schedule their own playdates which has a way of bringing mom’s together.

    We’re looking forward to another week of the #HomeMattersParty with you!

    Reply
    • Shann says

      August 14, 2015 at 10:47 am

      Thank you! Yes, it’s going to be fun!

      Reply
  47. Danie says

    August 16, 2015 at 6:23 pm

    This is great. I have a lot of friends with kids, I think I’m one of the few ‘kidless’ friends that totally understands the demands on their time!

    Reply
    • Shann says

      August 16, 2015 at 7:10 pm

      Thank you! It’s awesome that you understand.

      Reply

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Shann Hi! I'm a mom, writer, and dancer. I love sharing my parenting experiences, my healthy living tips, my money saving ideas, and our travel plans. My passion to help other women inspired this blog. I hope you'll stay a while and come back often.

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