Premature Mother’s Guilt
All mother’s experience guilt at one time or another, but a premature mother’s guilt can be overwhelming. Not only is there guilt about “normal” parenting decisions (like the guilt from choosing one feeding method over another, for example,) but there is guilt about the actual prematurity. Not being able to carry a baby to full-term can really play with your emotions.
A mother may feel like her body failed her and her baby. Everything that happens after that early birth can just magnify those feelings.
Even though I knew it wasn’t my fault that my twin pregnancy was complicated, I still felt all the responsibility for those two lives inside me. I carried the weight of every decision on my shoulders, and when it came time to deliver, I, alone, had to give the doctor permission to save my babies.
Watching my boys struggle in the NICU was very tough too. Why couldn’t my body take care of them longer? Why did they have to fight so hard just to live? Was there something else I could have done to keep them from being born so early and from suffering so much?
In my head, I know there was nothing I could have done to change the outcome, but sometimes my heart didn’t get the message. Sometimes, no matter what reassurances we’re given, that guilt takes over logical reasoning.
Today, you will meet an amazing fighter named Merrick, as told by his mother Kristie. You’ll read how courageous she is, and also how Merrick’s early birth has affected her. Like me, his mother feels premature mother’s guilt, even though Merrick’s early birth is not her fault.
I’m so honored to bring you their story because it really will help others understand another struggle that comes with a premature birth.
1. Tell us about your baby
2. Do you know the reason for your premature birth?
3. How long was your NICU stay? What was the hardest part?
4. How are you and your baby doing now?
Ashley Johns says
I hope sweet Merrick grows out of his milk allergy! I totally agree with you about advocating. I always tell expecting and new moms “You are your own best advocate” and it’s so true once baby is here. You know them better than anyone else, if you’re not happy with an answer question it.
Beth Kondrick says
Kristie’s story sounds so similar to my friend’s with her 23 weeker. She felt a little ill the night before but nothing else out of the ordinary. Merrick is the cutest! I’m glad to see he’s doing well now!
Jessica Bradshaw says
My best friend had preemie twins and I never once thought it was her fault. This is such a beautiful story. Thank you for sharing and being so honest.
I am so glad little Merrick is doing well. Thank you for sharing your story!
Lane & Holly @ With Two Spoons says
Wow, 23 weeks, crazy early. In no way was this mom’s fault and it is so exciting to see how well he’s doing!
Vanessa Price says
Thank you for sharing your story, Kristie! You and your husband are so blessed to have such a beautiful little boy.
Jordan | Read. Eat. Repeat. says
Sweet boy! So glad that he is healthy and growing. It must have been so frustrating to not be able to figure out what caused him to come so early.
Jessica Battiato says
What a journey! It amazes me how different/special every birth story is! I still have some “guilt” about having to bring my two into the world via c-section. I wanted a natural delivery so badly, but it wasn’t in the books! I love your positive outlook and encouragement!
Kate Van Vleck says
This is a really powerful interview! Thanks for your courage and honesty!
Tara Liston Fuller says
such a unique and powerful read. he is beautiful!
Shann Eva says
Thank you so much Courtney!