Not always a blogger
I started being a blogger by accident.
When the twins were first born and in the hospital, I used a website to keep everyone informed of their condition. It was easier to write everything down, then to call or talk to people about them during such an emotional time.
Once we made it through the NICU, people still wanted to know how the twins were doing, and we were in isolation due to their compromised immune systems, so I started my own site. It was a way for me to connect with people (mostly relatives) and also get my own emotions out in a really therapeutic way.
What being a blogger means to me
Once I started to reach more people, and see that my words could help people, I started to focus more on my blog and my writing. I could reach parents that were in a similar situation, I could share my experience as a story of hope for those just starting on complicated pregnancy or NICU journey, and I felt like someone was really listening to what I had to say.
While it may not bring in any income (yet) being a blogger is now something that I consider my work. It’s a creative way for me to express myself, a way for me to help people I haven’t had a chance to meet, and it’s still an emotional outlet. It is something that is all my own.
Why being a blogger is hard
Of course, writing, researching, promoting, generating ideas, and creating images is all hard work…but that’s not what I’m talking about today.
I’m sharing why it’s hard for ME to be a blogger in my household.
Finding time
Between breaking up fights, diaper changes, getting ready for school, feeding, laundry, working out, and everything else that comes with being a stay-at-home-mom, finding the time to be a blogger is hard.
Finding quiet
This is next to impossible in this house. The sheer volume of the kids’ voices alone…let’s just say earplugs only help a little. Plus, someone is usually screaming, the TV is on, and/or someone (my oldest) is playing right next to me.
The only time it is quiet is before they wake (I’d have to get up at 5 am. Not happening,) IF the twins take a nap, and when all three are asleep, which doesn’t happen until after 9 pm.
Finding Space
Our house isn’t big. For a while, I had my desk (a fold up table from IKEA) in our bedroom. Now, I’ve moved into a room off the living room. There’s a gate separating the rooms, but that doesn’t mean the twins don’t like to stand and scream/cry while pulling on it. And my oldest simply jumps over, and uses the same room as his own personal play area.
Last night he insisted on using my computer (we still have the old one I used for 6 years) to play MindCraft. When I said I had to do some work, he through a huge tantrum, tears and all. I was so exhausted from the day, I just gave in and went to bed.
Finding Support
While my husband supports me, he still only views my blog as a hobby, not as my work. I don’t even think he reads my posts most of the time. I’ve also asked him to make sure and click my Top Mommy Blogs button every day, and like my Facebook posts, but that only happens when I bug him.
Plus, when I asked for 15 minutes so I could work this morning (I got up early) he said yes, but then just let the twins scream by the gate. No work being done for mommy.
I realize my kids are at an age where they need me all the time, and me being on the computer just takes away from attention that I could be giving them. They don’t understand what mommy is doing except not paying attention to them.
I also realize that I don’t make any real money, so it’s hard for my husband to see this a real work for me. However, it is important to me, and I work really hard at it.
I just have to work harder at balancing being a blogger with being a mom and wife.
Do you do it all? How do you find the balance?
Finding support took me a while but now that I have it, it is soooo much easier to blog and find time to .
That’s awesome. Thank you Alanna.
I can definitely relate! Your husband sounds like my mom. She has always loved my writing since I was young and was one of the people who actually encouraged me to start my own blog, but I know she’s not reading everything, and when I ask her, sometimes she seems busy or annoyed. Also when I feel overwhelmed with my schedule, she always says something about how i must not be too busy since I’m still blogging. Like that would be a logical thing to cut out!
Right?!?! Thanks Lindsay.
I agree with you. I feel guilty if I work on my blog when my kids are awake. Somedays I wonder why I do it, but I love connecting with people.
Yes! I totally agree. Thank you.
I just wanna send a hug your way, Shann! Sounds like you could really use some support and an understanding ear. Would be happy to chat with you anytime. Also, this is random, but have you ever considered investing in a strategy session or mentorship opportunity to help you identify avenues to monetize more? If you’re looking to take your blog to the next level and start making money so that you feel better about your hard work and so that your hubby “takes it more seriously” maybe that’d be a worthwhile option to consider!
Coming Up Roses
Thank you so much Erica! I will definitely think about that. I appreciate your support.
Wow, I’m just sitting here like “Shann just depicted my life”. It’s so hard…sometimes I just want to throw in the towel, but I know that blogging is something that’s all mine as you said. I’m in the same boat with you, my husband doesn’t think of blogging as my job either. He will watch the kids but often lets them escape or I can hear them being loud even in the basement. I’m sorry I don’t have any tips for balance as I’m just winging it all lol. I’m definitely here for you though.
Thank you Danielle. I really appreciate your support 🙂
I’m living the same story! While I don’t have twins, I’m getting ready to add another baby into the mix. I currently work full time but I’m not going back after the baby. I’ve been trying to practice at home on weekends finding time to blog, while engaging with my daughter and doing the things needed done at home. My husband views my blog as a hobby as well…I can’t wait to start making some money. I think he will support me more if that will happen.
Yes. It’s like catch 22. If I had more time to work, I could make money….
Hi Shann,
I can totally relate. I have children that are ages 1 and 4. I stay at home with them and I usually try to work when my 1 year old takes a nap. However, most of the time it is when they both go to sleep, which is after 9pm. Also, I just asked my husband the other day when is the last time he read my blog and he said, “It’s been awhile.” He asked how can he be more supportive. I told him to read my blog more often and not to give me a weird look when I say that I am working on it. He doesn’t know the look that he gives me, but trust me there is a look. All I can do is work harder because I love being a blogger. I enjoy sharing my opinion and giving advice. As a blogger, what we do is important. With your blog posts, you are giving information that someone needs. Sometimes I question if I am the only one in this situation or that feels this way, so thanks for sharing your story.
Thank you so much Lori. So funny about “the look.” So true!
I can so relate to the time thing. With a full time job and a time-consuming hobby (theater), I don’t get to spend as much time with my blog as I would like to. Luckily my husband is very supportive and even told me if I wanted to pursue blogging full time he would be okay with that – but I like my job at the library 🙂 Also I will try to click that Top Mommy blog button every time I visit!
Awe. Thank you Becky. That’s awesome of your husband too!
The support thing can be very problematic. I always like making dinner and taking care of things at home. But! I only have 4 hours after I get home and before I go to bed. My husband has his climbing hobby and although I know he doesn’t mean to, my blogging often gets pushed to the side.
Girl I’m with you. Blogging is hard. There are weeks/months where I’m loving my posts and I am encouraged to write. However, I hit a brick wall where I’m not sure what I want to write about or if it is good enough.I’ve kind of hit a brick wall since I moved from blogger to wordpress. It is hard to balance it all. If only we just wrote articles but we have to do so much more for others to find and read our posts. Everything is hard at first and everything takes time. I write/share/comment in the morning. Then around 10am I do school work with kiddos..workout… clean house. At 5:30 we eat dinner and I usually do not go online or work on my blog until morning. It gets easier when your kiddos get older. I have a13 and 10 year old that help out. My husband is very supportive. However, he usually does not read my posts. I think non-bloggers can’t really relate with bloggers that’s why I love having a group of blogger friends. I love your blog/posts…I think we are constantly learning… that’s what counts.:)
Very true. Thank you Irina. I don’t think a lot of people understand all the behind the scenes work. I’m glad you get it 🙂
I think that just because you’re not getting money for doing this doesn’t make it any less valid. What you do is important–for your mental health and because it connects you with a community of bloggers who are either going through the same, or who want to hear about your experiences. I imagine it must be difficult to find the time, but I’m so glad that you are doing it because you do it very well. Sending so much love your way, momma. XOXO
Thank you so much Charlotte. I really appreciate the support.
This is all so true! I am excited to keep blogging once we have kids but also know it will add a whole new challenge to it. You do a great job with your blog and it’s clear how much you love your littles as well! So glad you’re fighting to keep growing this creative space even in the midst of the craziness!
Thank you so much Lauren!
I can absolutely relate and feel the same way. It is definitely hard.
Sending a hug your way! I’m trying to find balance in my life as well and it’s hard without kids – but I know I want to start a family soon and it’s already stressing me out thinking about adding a child to the mix. I have no idea how you do it with three, but I think you’re amazing for doing it!
Awe. Thanks Alexandra. I’m sure you’ll do a great job. Thanks for your support too.
Although I’m further along in the parenting game and my kids are now in school, I still feel guilt when I’m working on the blog stuff while my kids are home from school. I try to do as much work as I can on my days off and when they’re in school, but it’s challenging with housework, etc that still needs to be done. I agree though that it is rewarding…and will someday hopefully provide some income!
Yes. Which reminds me that I need to go move the laundry. There’s always something, right?
Yes I hear you! I stay up after my kids go to bed to do stuff for my blog, but since I average 4 hrs sleep a night with my teething son, giving up that minimal amounts of sleep is a big sacrifice and is taking its toll.
My hubby doesn’t understand my blog either, read it, or click my links 🙁
Oh boy. I don’t think I’d survive on 4 hours of sleep. Hang in their mama!
Ha ha thanks! They are worth it but sooo exhausting! As I say that you lol, you have your hands full too 😉
I myself would love to start a mommy blog. I just can’t find the time, energy, or support. I am also a stay at home mom and don’t feel much support from my boyfriend when I bring up my blogging ideas. I would love to go back to work to feel more better about helping financially but having a preemie daughter who needs so much attention daycare is not a option. Although I appreciate my boyfriend for all he does (he is very hard working) I get upset when I don’t receive any support. I guess we can’t expect our men to understand. Hopefully soon I can begin to blog. Support or no support.
I can totally understand, especially the part about no daycare. Luckily, we are finally at the point that the twins can go to childcare, at least when I’m at the gym. It’s really hard when you don’t have support, but we have to support each other, right? I hope you are able to start soon. If you ever have any questions, feel free to ask.
Eek sometimes my fiancé is really supportive but other times he asks why I am constantly glued to my computer. It is difficult to express to him why so I feel you! I don’t have kids yet but I can only imagine when I do haha.
xoxo, Jenny
Sam says he’s supportive, but he won’t even have a serious conversation about moving to New York for 6 months so I will have stuff to write about. He’s also ruled out a baby. And a puppy. It’s like he doesn’t even want me to succeed.
Unless you are also a blogger, blogging is always considered “that cute thing you do on the internet”. It’s a struggle, and I’m sure everyone has had to deal with it until they actually started making money and getting book deals.
Wouldn’t it be nice if it could be considered a legitimate job, before the money comes in?
It can be a little hectic trying to do everything for your blog. If you are passionate about it and really want to keep going, you CAN. Challenges, finding the balance, and maintaining the house and the kids. It’s a little crazy.
I recently wrote a post that may help you… http://bigfoottribe.com/7-wahm-tips-to-stay-productive-when-you-have-kids/
Thank you Michelle. I’ll take a look.
Great post, Shann, I know what you must go through with the little ones! You do a great job getting it done!
I just set 3 must do goals for reach day.. and usually one or two of those things involve the blog! ha! I plan out my week and then just decide when I will write a post, when I will edit pics, etc. By splitting it up it makes it easier. Like you, I love my blog since it is MINE so it is worth the time I put into it. 🙂
Oh I can so relate to all of this! I end up ‘blogging’ all day long and into the night because i never have time alone to do it, which means the whole process it just so long. But its worth it 🙂
Finding that balance is so hard! I work full time and then feel I should spend the rest if my time with Kinley. Then at night when I have a little quiet time I feel like I should be spending it with my husband. I feel bad sitting there on the computer. I think having that support us key. But like you said I think my husband sees it as a hobby.
Blogging isn’t always easy, but I am inspired by your positive attitude during the struggle! I’ve always just made time to blog – but if I don’t plan my posts in advance, they never get written. I don’t have any kids yet so finding the time is easy, but I know that one day I will have to work a lot harder to find the time.
I hear you! It’s tough finding the time. I squeeze it in whenever I can. I usually do a little if I get both kids down for a nap at the same time. I’m hoping it’ll be a little easier when my older son starts going to preschool. We’ll see!
The struggle is real! My blog has turned into a source of supplementary income, so I have my youngest in daycare while my eldest is in school. It’s the only way I can actually get work done! Then, and late at night…. zzzz 😉
Such a great post! I couldn’t agree more with everything you said. While my situation is a bit different, ( no twins) but two kids, I am finding myself in all the same situations. I am just trying to power through it as best as I can during those few moments of downtime and staying up late the odd night.
Thank you!
Shann, you’re not alone! I also have a hard time trying to find time to actually blog. I also get the reaction from my significant other who thinks of it as a hobby until we see real money come in. But I continue. Like for you, it’s therapeutic.
Yes! Thanks Yanni!
I hope you don’t let others get you down. I think your writing is beautiful and you should most certainly take yourself seriously, even if others don’t. I can’t imagine trying to blog while having kids- I actually mentioned that to my fiance last night, and I’m scared of learning the balance when the time comes in a few years. I love reading your blog, even if we are at different stages in our life. When you get discouraged, just think of that. It can be hard when we get caught up in our income and such. When I get discouraged, I just think of how people I’ve never met before in my life are reading my blog and commenting, and to me, that is amazing to think of.
xo
Awe. Thank you so much Chelsea. You’re completely right. It is pretty amazing.
Oh, what I would give to have my husband’s ability to ignore those little cries. I learned in my household that not ignoring them was a choice I was making. The kids were fine. My toddler is capable of playing in his room by himself and our if the infant is fed there is no reason he can’t spend time with daddy. Set aside time for you that everyone agrees on, put on some headphones, shut the door, and do you. Every mom deserves her own time and if you love your blog, it’s worth it. As far as the support goes? You’ve got us!
Thank you so much!
Awww hugs to you, Shann! Despite so many challenges you are doing an amazing job with your blog and I love reading your posts. I am not a mom yet so I have not been in your shoes but having been around mommy friends, I know how much time and energy is spent in taking care of kids, especially twins. I am sure you could use some ‘me time’ everyday, its essential for one and all I feel, maybe have your husband watch the kids for an hour or two everyday and find a coffee place where you can be alone and get your blog work done.
xx, Kusum | http://www.sveeteskapes.com
Thank you!
Finding support is a big issue I have! No matter how big the campaign or how much money I make doing something people never take me seriously in the real world when I say blogging is my job. it wasn’t even until recently that my hubby even took it seriously. Ughhhh lol
I can relate to this! I hope as your children get older you can find more time to work on your blog!
Yes, I think that will make it easier.
Blogging is definitely hard work! My family is actually really supportive. I’m not married, but my parents read it daily and my siblings are supportive of it. They’re all cheering me on and hoping that I can make an income from it. It’s nice to have their support, since it is something that I have put a lot of time into.
But yeah, I have a demanding job, a (very, very) part-time job on top of that and I’m a fiction writer, so it’s hard to find a way to balance all of it. Like you, even though I’m not making money (yet), I see it as a job and hope that one day I will be making some money off of it. And in order to do that you have to put in a lot of time.
Great post!
Thanks Crystal! That’s awesome how supportive your family is.
I can relate to all of this! As a brand new blogger, I had no idea the time commitment it would be. Trying to manage 3 kids, one of which is a toddler and home all day, keep up with my regular SAHM duties, run my business and blog is near impossible. I had a serious talk with my husband about taking over the kids and house one evening and one weekend morning to allow me to focus on my blog and business. Baby steps, but hopefully it will help.
Yes! It really is shocking just how much work it is. I wish you the best of luck and hope you’re able to come up with a plan.
I’m exhausted just reading that so I can only imagine what it’s like to live it. I find myself scrapping for time to blog and just have work, school, a boyfriend, and 2 fur babies to deal with. More or less all of these things can be neglected in a way that children cannot. Whenever somebody asks what my boyfriend and I are waiting on to have kids (other than the obvious answer of marriage) I always rebuttal that I just don’t have the time! Stay strong though! One day all those kids will be off to college and you’ll have more time than you know what to do with.
You’re exactly right. I don’t want to wish my time away with them while they are little, it’s just overwhelming sometimes.
I’m so sorry it’s so hard right now. Blogging is certainly hard and time consuming and most people just don’t get that! You should find support in a community online (though I’m sure you have). It’s not the same as support from your husband, but it certainly helps! I’m glad I found you thanks to SYBL and I’m now following along. We’re all in this together!
Thank you so much Charlene!
I feel you need to sit you husband down and explain that blogging keeps you sane and you’re not asking for much. If he can’t/won’t watch the kids for 15 minutes, then…nope not going there because it’ll start a fight. Is there any way to maybe pay a sitter for an hour and you leave the house, even if you just sit in your car in the driveway, and work?
Thank you for the suggestions. We did have an awesome sitter in the summer, so I’m hoping she’ll be available again.
I can totally relate to you Shann. It is hard to be a blogger and without a support group, it can be difficult. My kids aren’t little anymore but I take care of my parents so in between going with them to doctor appointments and running the house, I have to make time for my blog and lot of times that means working late hours. 🙂
Thanks for sharing your thoughts with us! Hope you’re having a great day!
Cori
Thank you Cori!
I really understand how difficult you find it all, and I also understand how our families, who we think would support us the most, really do not understand why we want to spend time on our blogs, whether they earn money or not.
Even though people have been blogging for a number of years now, to many people, blogging is still quite new.
Many people have never ever read a blog so when we talk about “what we do” and that we “blog” people cannot relate to it, and so therefore they do not understand why we would want to spend our time doing it, and how much work is involved in blogging.
From spouses, to parents, to friends, if they do not blog, they typically do not get it.
In regard to your children needing your attention, I know this sounds cliche, but that too shall pass.
Just relax, and do what you can do, and let the rest go for now.
And, even if your husband forgets to click on the “top mommy” button everyday, I have been clicking on it everyday, and you are doing very well. 🙂
Awe. Thank you so much. I appreciate all of your support and advice. 🙂
I completely agree with all of this! My hubby does the same thing haha (so don’t feel alone). I don’t people who aren’t bloggers truly appreciate the time and effort that goes into each post (that is if you can find time which for me is late at night or while my little one is in MDO for a few hours).
Exactly. Thank you!
I feel your pain. I know it is hard for you with little ones. I have a teen and it is still hard for me even with her at school. It seems the day passes so quickly. Just keep at it one day at a time. You will succeed. My husband also sees my blog as a hobby, but he encourages me becauses he knows how happy it makes me.
Thank you!
I completely understand where you are coming from in not receiving support for your job… my husband, too, thinks what I do is more of a “hobby” (and no, I’m not making anything yet, either). And, finding the time can be hard if you have other obligations (eg. your kids). My kids are older now (17 and 15), so I’m working to help other bloggers with that “time” problem. 🙂 But, I know… it’s still hard. Especially when no one seems to “get it” that your blog is your JOB.
Regardless, it can be the most rewarding “job”, too — if you can look past the difficulties. God’s given us this awesome platform to reach all over the world … sharing His words through us! 🙂 Not to mention, it’s just plain fun.
Blessings to you, Shann!
Thank you so much!
So true! Time management is my biggest struggle. So much to do and so little time!
I used to be so worried the people around me wouldn’t support me, but they do. Great post, I enjoyed this
Jess http://www.beautifulbreakable.com
Our latest move made life much busier, and I’ve responded to that by way cutting back on the time I spend on my blog. I love blogging and creating high-quality posts that entertain my readers, but for me, it is my hobby, not my job, so it’s easy for me to put it on the side-burner these days, and I’m okay with that.
While I’m not a mom, I’m a F/T student, F/T nanny and blogger, so I understand being busy. I’m very fortunate to have a strong support system that understands how much my blog means to me. Maybe try explaining it in other ways to your husband, he has to understand that it makes you happy and that being happy is one of the most important thing! You keep on working hard, your blog is awesome and I’m sure you’re an even more awesome mom!
Thank you so much!
Completely agree with all of the above. I am still relatively new to blogging (7 months) so my husband is still very supportive, most of the time. But, I think it is hard for him to understand why I spend so much time on it. Great read!
Yes, girl it is hard! Especially hard for me on top of being a full-time teacher with 2 kids! I believe it is WORTH IT getting to speak truth into other people’s lives and encourage others while sharing my story! Keep it up love!
Agreed. Thank you Brittany!
Hard, but also very rewarding or we wouldn’t do it, right? The hardest part right now is writing about my family without my kids getting mad. They don’t want to be in my blog at all…
I’m sure I’ll have the same problem as mine get older.
I get it. I could have written those exact words. I’m with you. My hubs likes to “watch” the kids by saying “they are just sitting here playing. I’m going to ______ but if they need something come get me”. He has no clue that they are playing nicely bc someone is in there with them and as soon as he walks out they will be on my heels. And coming to get him is just another thing for me to do! (ps- hope you linked up! Lots of mama bloggers would probably be encouraged that they are not alone! http://www.akreativewhim.com/100-happy-days-14)
I haven’t but I will. Thank you so much Kate!
I am only 4 months in to blogging but I really identify with your struggles here! I have two kids and they are early risers and rarely nap at the same time. The house is NEVER quiet it seems and some days I can’t think! I love blogging and I want to give it my all, but then the serious mommy guilt (and wife guilt) sets in every time I’m at my computer. Thanks for sharing! <3
Darn that guilt! Thanks for stopping by Erin 🙂
Blogging for me is my “me” time. I get out of bed at 5 am everyday and allow myself to blog uninterrupted, without guilt if not doing housework, until the girls get up. I love having the motivation to be “selfish” for an hour a day.
That’s awesome!
Blogging is hard and I’m singlenwith no kids! I can’t imagine how you have the energy to do it!
Xoxo
Christina
http://Www.styletothet.com
I can relate despite my children being almost all adults. I had been a SAHM forever. Went back to work and got sick, so back to SAHM. I began blogging to give me a a purpose and I love it yet my family think its just a hobby. I have 2 kids who love it and read, the other two could care less!My hubs also rarely knows what I am blogging about, I love your post. You are a wonderful blogger and I enjoy reading your posts! Someday the kids will be able to look back and read your wonderful posts and be proud of their mom
Thank you so much Eileen. I really appreciate that 🙂
I can completely relate! I love the passion behind your writing and the reason why you started your blog. I too write from the soul, for the purpose of inspiring/encouraging others. And, I share a lot of the same struggles. As a full-time working mom it’s hard to find the time to blog somedays.
Yes, it really is. Thank you for sharing your struggles too. 🙂