I went to my first “Mothers of Multiples” meeting the other Friday night. I was a little nervous and anxious…for a couple different reasons.
First, I’m not that great at meeting new people. I can be a little quiet, and sometimes people mistake that for being snotty or uninterested. Nope, just shy.
Second, the meeting was taking place at a hospital. The very same hospital that I gave birth to my first son at (good memories) and the very same hospital that I saw the specialist who advised me to selectively reduce my pregnancy with the twins (Very BAD memories.) So, I get a little queasy even at the thought of that place.
The last reason was that I wasn’t sure if I would be able to relate to these mothers. Sure, we all have twins, but I had a very complicated pregnancy and birth. I wasn’t sure if everyone else had full term, relatively normal pregnancies/births, or really what to expect. I belong to a lot of different support groups on Facebook, and there we all share common experiences with complications such as TTTS/SIUGR and prematurity. Of course, everyone has different experiences, but I feel comfortable in those groups because I know I can relate in at least one aspect. I also have the safety of being at home in front of the computer, so if some emotion hits me, I don’t have to hide it. I wasn’t sure what might happen at this meeting where there were actual “live” people. 🙂
Well, let’s just say I was pleasantly surprised. I first ran into another mom on the way in who was as lost as I was. There is all this construction going on at the hospital, so everything looks different. Luckily, we found someone to direct us (Bonding time #1)
When we got to the meeting room, there were only 3 other woman there. No one really said much, except to sit down and write your name on a card. A few more woman trickled in, and some seemed to know each other from previous meetings. Then a couple pregnant woman came in. One said she already had a set of twins, and this was her second set. My husband would have passed out right then and there.
Finally, it looked as though everyone was there. Everyone went around and was supposed to say a highlight of their summer and a little about themselves. One woman’s highlight was her twins coming off oxygen (Bonding moment #2) Her twins had been born around 26 weeks and spent a long time in NICU too. The woman after her, the one on her second set of twins, mentioned her twins were born at 28 weeks and also came home on oxygen. The woman next to me mentioned her twins were born at 27 weeks.
Now all the twins were fraternal and didn’t have the same complications, but prematurity and NICU experience is definitely something I can relate too. I was not happy that they had to experience it, but I was happy that I had some women who would understand if I couldn’t make events during cold/flu season or wouldn’t look at me funny if my kids weren’t walking/talking yet. I breathed a sigh of relief, and relaxed through the rest of the meeting…even during my turn to speak about my twins.
I will definitely be attending more meetings in the future, and hopefully some family events too. I’m even hoping that maybe I can help with education and awareness in the community.
Speaking of awareness…a woman I know from the TTTS Survivors support group is holding a Fundraiser Walk in honor of her TTTS Survivor and TTTS Angel. I will get all of the information, in case anyone would like to attend or donate to this amazing cause and family. All of the money raised will go to the TTTS Foundation.
On a completely separate note, it’s back to school time around here. Well, not here in my household, but here in the neighborhood. I see all the cute pictures of kids in their first day of school outfits on Facebook, and big yellow buses flying by the house. My eldest isn’t quite old enough for kindergarden yet, and even though I think he would love pre-school, we have to wait until next year. I can’t take the chance of him bringing home a bunch of germs/illness from school home to the twins. This winter we still have to stay in relative isolation because their immune systems won’t be fully functioning until they are 2 years old.
So, I bummed that he won’t get to go and play with kids his age. I guess we’ll just have to entertain ourselves again this winter. We did, however, do one thing the kids going back to school did…go to the Dentist!
Yes, that’s right, all three kiddos went to the dentist. I brought my mom to help, but I have to say everyone was very well behaved. The twins were very quiet, just observing all the hygentists that were fussing over them. My 3 year old sat with my mom, then he got to wear sunglasses while they cleaned his teeth. He also got a ton of stickers/prizes, and the best thing of all….a Trophy! All the hygentists came out singing and clapping because he got rid of his pacifier (he liked to call it his Fa-Fa) for good. The Trophy had a sticker that said he was a member of the “I Quit” club. It is now proudly displayed on the fireplace with his soccer trophy.
Plus, no cavaties, no preemie teeth issues, and no crying from anyone. I’d say it was a success!
So, by the time I write my next entry I will be another year older. Ugh. I’m not even going to type the number. I guess I’m not dreading the actual birthday, but just the fact that every year goes faster and faster. I’m really hoping this blog will help me reflect and enjoy my time more.