With Mother’s Day coming up on Sunday, I couldn’t let a happiness post on Friday go by without dedicating it to the moms. Some moms will be celebrating with loved ones, while others will be thinking of the loved ones they’ve lost. It can be a day of very mixed emotions, but no matter what, it is a day to honor mothers.
Mother’s Day of 2012 was a very difficult day for me. My two babies were fighting for their lives in the NICU, while I was trying to be strong for my oldest child, who was only 2-years-old at the time. We were at brunch with our families, and I just kept thinking how unfair it was that I couldn’t have all three of my children with me. It was especially hurtful on that day, and I remember excusing myself so I could get some air and cry with no one watching.
I think back to that Mother’s Day every year since. While I am so lucky to have my boys here with me and healthy, I will always carry those feelings with me. Their traumatic birth and NICU stay is just a part of me.
However, I do know that I am extremely lucky, and my heart is with those NICU moms who aren’t so lucky. With the moms who are watching their babies fight right now, with the moms that never get a chance to even meet their sweet baby, and with the moms whose time is cut way too short. With the moms who have lost their own mother, and with the women who are struggling to be a mother. This post is dedicated to honor mothers, all mothers, on this emotional day and every day.
If you’ve been reading my Friday posts recently, you know that I post 5 things that have made me happy this week. Well, this first one was huge.
I got a message from one of my readers, who is part of a support group. She told me that the members of the support group are so thankful for my Monday Preemie Posts, and that they look forward to them each week. Hearing that these stories are reaching women that really need that hope brought tears to my eyes and gave me such validation.
It is one of the reasons that I started this blog, and it is the reason that I keep writing. I never want a woman to feel alone or feel hopeless in their premature birth journey.
My Own Miracles
My twins turned 5-years-old last week, which I still can’t believe. From 1 lb 7 oz and 2 lbs 2 oz to this:
Happy 5th birthday to my miracle twins!!!! They weren’t supposed to be here, but the beat all odds, including surviving TTTS, SIUGR, and being born at 25 weeks. We love you so much! #maythe4thbewithyou #maythe4thbewithme #fightlikeapreemie #mommylovesyou #nicustrong #nicugrads #tttssurvivors #preemiepower #siugrsurvivor #25weekers
They had their Mother’s Day preschool program this week. Even though I’m pretty sure neither of them actually sang, I was still one proud momma.
Progress with Anxiety
If you’ll remember from a previous Friday post, Big C has been battling some anxiety issues lately. It’s been hard for me to watch, since I also suffer from anxiety.
But, this week, we’ve truly made some great progress.
He actually enjoyed himself the entire soccer practice! He didn’t mention crying (or not crying, which he pointed out to me about 50 times during last week’s practice,) did all the exercises, and didn’t even get upset when he had to put his favorite red ball away.
I know that we may have new issues next week, but for now, I’m enjoying this win.
Not only is Mother’s Day on Sunday, but Saturday, I’ll be performing.
I take an adult Modern Dance class, and it’s our recital! I’m a little nervous, but also very excited to be dancing on stage. The twins will come to the dress rehearsal, since I’m not sure they could sit through the show, but my husband and Mr. B are coming to my performance at night. It’s always more fun when you have someone in the audience. I’ve also made some great friends in my dance class, so I’m excited to be sharing a stage with them. Wish us luck!
While Sunday will be an emotional day, I’m still happy to be spending it with my family. I’m also looking forward to sleeping in!
Making it through the Week
It’s been a long, busy week, but we survived!
Even though they are my miracles, and I love them so much, my twins are also typical 5-year-old boys. They are messy, wild, and full of endless energy. Being a mom is hard work, and they test my patience each and every day.
For some reason, this week, they decided they did not need much sleep. Bedtime was a struggle each night, and then they stayed up way too late in their room. This resulted in a lot of whining, crying, fighting, and yawning during the day.
So, to this I say TGIF!!!
I’ll be having dinner and drinks (wine, of course) with my twin moms tonight for our last meeting of the year. Can’t wait!
I hope you have a great weekend coming up!
Please remember to honor mothers, and to be gentle and kind. You never know what kind of struggle someone else might be going through. Listen and let them talk. Remember to not only honor mothers, but honor the lost loved ones. Say their names, talk about them, and remember them with their mothers. To all the mothers who have lost someone, I will be thinking of you.