Say No
As I mom, I say no to my kids all the time.
“No, you can’t have another treat.”
“Can you stay up until 10 pm? No.”
“No, you can’t jump off the couch and onto your brother.”
However, when it comes to myself, it’s harder to say no. I like to keep busy, but sometimes I overwhelm myself. Too many activities, too much work, and not enough rest. Getting sick this last time helped to put it in perspective.
I’m still not sure if it was a virus or a combination of things (stress, allergies, acid reflux, and medication reaction.) Either way, it really knocked me out, and forced me to say no to a lot of things. Some of those things made me sad, like having to reschedule my husband’s birthday dinner, but some of them were a relief, like not running the 5K.
Listening
This doesn’t mean I’m going to stop doing everything, but it does mean I need to listen to my body more. For example, if I’m really tired, the World isn’t going to stop because I don’t go to the gym. If I really need to work on my writing, my kids will survive taking the bus, instead of parent pick-up.
I felt so guilty not being able to go to the twins’ Spring party at school when I was sick. Even though I was feeling awful, I still debated going. Then, I listened to everyone else. My mom pointed out that I had been to every other party this year, their teacher told me to get some rest, and the other mom that I planned it with said she would be fine without me. Even one of the twins told me it was OK.
Why is it easier to listen to other people when it comes to our own well-being?
Saying Yes in Moderation
So, I’m going to work on listening to myself and my body more. I’m going to try to push that guilt away, and do what I can.
This includes my monthly goals.
I had a lot of things planned for April, and didn’t get a lot done. Instead of focusing on that I’m just going to share what I did accomplish and move on to next month.
So, here’s what I did.
April Goals
Spring Cleaning Goals
- Sent 2 boxes into ThredUp, and have 3 more packed and ready to go.
- Freshened up our living room with some new paint.
Family Goals
- Celebrated my husband’s birthday.
- Ate healthier! Plus, I used my Instant pot to make the hard-boiled eggs. The kids loved them, and it’s given me more confidence to use it for other things.
- Marched for babies! We raised over $2000 on behalf of our team. You can still donate HERE
Professional Goals
- Wrote a post for MKE Moms Blog
- Have gotten at least halfway through all of my dances for the Showcase with my students.
May Goals
Spring Cleaning Goals
- Schedule a dumpster to be delivered and get rid of all the garage junk
Personal/Health Goals
- Stay healthy! Get enough rest, drink enough water, don’t push my body too far.
Family Goals
- Celebrate the twins’ 7th Birthday! How? How can they be 7 already?
- Celebrate Mother’s Day
Professional Goals
- Rock my Dance Performance
- Write my last California Post
- Write a post for MKE Moms Blog
Simple and less intense goals while I recover fully. What do you have planned for the month of May?
You are picking up on my mojo girl – this almost is in tune with what I wrote. I have learned in the last year that I have not made myself a priority in my life. I put myself on the bottom and other people and things above my own needs. That includes saying yes when I should have said no. That made me incredibly annoyed and unhappy and stressed and all the other words that makes me feel all swirly and uncomfortable on the inside.
I’m not doing that anymore. There are boundaries now. I am on the top of the list. I can’t afford to put myself last.
I’m so glad that you’re listening to yourself more. You’ll be happier and healthier for it. It’s not selfish. It’s 100% vital to your health and in turn, it affects those little cherubs too. You can’t help them when you’re down xoxo
XXXOOO Thank you Kim.
It is so hard to put ourselves first but I notice that I only do it when my body severely backfires just like yours did recently. That’s when it’s a good time to check in and evaluate the things we have to let go of. I’m glad you are doing this too, and practicing more kindness towards your body. You are only capable of so much ❤️ April sounds like a great month for you and you raised so much $ for a wonderful cause! I need to pack up some things to donate, too. Definitely on my list, too!
Thank you Charlotte! XXXOOO
You’re speaking my love language here. It is SO hard to say no without that guilt creeping in. My mom likes to share a phrase that says “the only people you need to explain yourself to is God and your spouse. No one else needs a reason for your no.” I’ve been trying to live by that philosophy and like you, trying to say yes in moderation. I don’t want to sit at home and do nothing, but for my own sanity I just can’t do it all. I’m so glad you are working on it and putting yourself first. You’re in good company!
I love that phrase! I will have to remind myself of that. Thank you Beth XXXOOO
Is it bad that I wished my body would backfire a bit? I fell asleep during Sanford & Son but rather than go to bed, i got up to read blogs. Blogs that’ll be here in the morning. I’m exhausted. I love that you framed this post in what you’ve done, not what you haven’t.
Let’s all just have a nap now.
Ha ha! Yes, a nap is definitely in order!
Isn’t it funny that we can say no when it comes to things that will benefit our kids, but have a hard time saying no to things that will benefit ourselves! Good luck!