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You are here: Home / Blog / Scars: When They Start to Fade

Scars: When They Start to Fade

April 24, 2019 By Shann 14 Comments

Scars

Scars on our bodies can come from many different places. They can be a sign of past trauma from an accident, an injury, or in my case, even giving birth.

I was sitting with the twins the other day when the topic of scars came up. It’s not a typical thing to discuss with children, but the twins didn’t have a typical birth or newborn period. Each had a surgery in the NICU, along with a three-month stay. I had an emergency C-section, to save their lives.

Even though I’m not sure they completely understood, I’m so glad we had the discussion for many reasons.

Scars: What happens when they start to fade? Do the memories too?

My Scars

The whole situation started with an innocent picture that popped up in my Facebook feed. It was one that I clearly remembered taking because it was such a huge milestone.

The photo was of Mr. P as a baby when he first rolled from back to front. It took him a long time and lots of physical therapy, but I remember how proud and excited I was at that moment.

scars

That picture, and talk of babies, led to the discussion of how they were born and an argument over who was older. I stopped them immediately by telling them they were born almost exactly at the same time. I didn’t explain why, but I told them the doctor had to cut me open and pull them both out of my stomach very fast.

I then lifted my shirt to show them my scar, and I let out a small gasp.

My scar was barely visible.

What used to be so dark and red had faded almost into my skin. I guess that’s what happens almost seven years later.

Their Scars

After seeing my faded scar, the twins asked if they also had scars. They meant from when the doctor took them out of my stomach, but I explained that they had different scars.

Mr. C had a vessel in his heart that didn’t close at birth. He had surgery to close it when he was 2 weeks old. I told him how they had to go in through his back, and that is where his scars were.

Mr. P had a very serious infection in his intestines called NEC, Necrotizing Enterocolitis. They tried antibiotics first, since he was still under 2 lbs, but they didn’t work. So, he also had surgery. The doctor put a drain in to remove the infection. Luckily, it worked, but it also left a scar.

I used simple terms to try and make them understand, but wanted them to know how important those scars are. They are symbols of how hard they had to fight to get to where they are now.

As I explained and ran my fingers over the hard tissue, I remembered all the tears I cried, the prayers I made, and the relief I felt when each boy was OK.

I told them each how brave they were, and how proud of them I was…and still am.

Their scars had faded too, but not my amazement in them.

Seven Years

Just like the scar on my stomach, the intensity of those emotions has also faded over these last seven years. I don’t think any of those feelings will ever completely disappear, but time has definitely helped. Writing about it has helped. Sharing our story has helped.

So have these sweet little faces.

Scars

Every time they learn something new, grow a little bigger, or say another “I love you,” the NICU gets a little further away. It will always be a big part of their story and a big part of mine, but there’s room for a lot more.

On May 4th, 2019, it will be seven years since the twins’ birth. Even though I still believe I remember every moment, there may be a day when some of those details fade too. It doesn’t make it any less significant or important. Time just gives perspective.

It makes those scars symbols of strength and courage, rather than pain and fear.

It’s scary to let go of things, but it’s also healthy to heal from pain.

Miracles do happen. Scars do fade.

 

 

Filed Under: Blog, Health, Pregnancy, Prematurity Tagged With: c-section, emergency, emotion, healing, Health, memories, mental health, motherhood, NEC, NICU, parenting, PDA, preemies, pregnancy, premature birth, scars, surgery, Twins

Comments

  1. Kara says

    April 24, 2019 at 7:17 am

    That was absolutely beautiful and a heartwarming story. Hats off to you momma!

    Reply
  2. Mandy Frank says

    April 24, 2019 at 9:45 am

    Loved reading this. Thank you for sharing. Still hard for me 2 years later sometimes .. bless your beautiful family

    Reply
  3. Kimberly Morand says

    April 24, 2019 at 12:37 pm

    Your story is so powerful and your journey towards healing is even much more so. While the pain will be there, I do think that it does morph itself over time – it will take on a new shape and meaning for all of you. You are doing so right now by taking that memory and pain and sharing it – giving strength and hope to other new parents who might be at the start of their very own journey right now…looking at your recovery and feeling hope. You are an incredible family. xo

    Reply
    • Shann says

      April 28, 2019 at 2:28 pm

      Thank you so much Kim XXXOOO

      Reply
  4. Beth says

    April 24, 2019 at 1:40 pm

    Such a beautiful story. I believe scars most definitely represent strength and they are beautiful. They are part of us and our journeys. Thank you for sharing a bit of yours with us.

    Reply
    • Shann says

      April 28, 2019 at 2:27 pm

      XXXOOO

      Reply
  5. Charlotte Klein says

    April 24, 2019 at 9:59 pm

    This is so incredibly beautiful, Shann ❤️ And yes, in time, those scars that once seemed so prevalent on our skin and in our hearts fade and we are left with their memories. I’m glad you had this discussion with the boys. Because as difficult as that birth must have been it’s important for them to understand how it all began and what you went through to bring them into this world.

    Love this. And do good to be back here.

    Reply
    • Shann says

      April 28, 2019 at 2:27 pm

      Thank you! XXXOOO

      Reply
  6. Lindsay says

    April 25, 2019 at 6:19 am

    Beautifully written my friend. <3

    Reply
  7. Mimi says

    April 26, 2019 at 10:23 am

    I love this, it is so important to remember what’s behind the scars but also that they’ll fade

    Reply
  8. Paula @ I'm Busy Being Awesome says

    April 26, 2019 at 10:24 am

    Such a beautiful story to share, you really did go through all of that and made out stronger!

    Reply
  9. Adriana Renee says

    April 26, 2019 at 10:41 am

    Aw, glad you have happy and healthy kids! It’s crazy to see how things fade and healing takes place.

    Reply
  10. Ruthie Ridley says

    April 26, 2019 at 11:57 am

    Wow, thank you for sharing this. SO heartwarming and powerful!

    Reply
  11. Christa says

    April 26, 2019 at 6:30 pm

    What special little boys. This post is such a great reminder of the resiliency of the human body and spirit.

    Reply

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Meet Shann

Shann Hi! I'm a mom, writer, and dancer. I love sharing my parenting experiences, my healthy living tips, my money saving ideas, and our travel plans. My passion to help other women inspired this blog. I hope you'll stay a while and come back often.

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