• About Me
  • Privacy Policy and Disclosure Policy

Shann Eva's Blog

A peek into my messy life with 3 boys

  • Home
    • My Delivery Story
    • Twin Pregnancy
  • Work with Me!
  • Money-Saving Links
  • Blog
    • Shann’s Favorites
    • Shopping
    • Birthdays
    • Health
    • Micro Preemie Mondays
  • Submit Your Story
    • Share an Update
  • Twin pregnancy
You are here: Home / Blog / Twin Comments: 5 Things That Drive Me Crazy

Twin Comments: 5 Things That Drive Me Crazy

February 22, 2019 By Shann 8 Comments

Twin Comments

I totally get it. Twins are unique. It’s pretty awesome/weird/amazing/crazy when you see two very similar people walking around. You have questions. You want to say something. But, those twin comments? They sometimes drive me crazy.

I say stuff too. Before twins, I probably said some pretty silly stuff or asked some unnecessary questions.

So, I’m going to help you out.

Twin Comments: 5 Things you should avoid saying to twin parents. #twins #identicaltwins

As a mother of identical twins for 6 years, I’ve got some tips to help you out. I’m sharing the five twin comments you really don’t need to make. The ones that illicit eye rolls. The ones that get discussed at our twin mom meetings (Yes, we do have those!)

Most of these twin comments pertain to identical twins, but some can even be relevant to moms with more than two children.

Like….

Comment #1

You’ve got your hands full!

This is usually said with either a chuckle or a look of horror, as someone is watching me try to push a cart, stop one twin from grabbing something off the shelf, and screaming at the other one as he heads down another aisle.

This is my husband’s most hated comment by far.

Aside from stating the obvious, it’s not particularly helpful.

If you see a mom with her hands full, maybe lend one of your empty ones? Offer to carry her bag of groceries. Reach that box of cereal on the top shelf for her.

Or don’t say anything and get out of their way.

#2: Do Twins Run in Your Family?

No. Identical twins are a complete random occurrence. They are not genetic.

While there may be a genetic component, it hasn’t been proved yet scientifically. Fraternal twins are genetic.

This comment is only annoying when it comes from a medical professional. How do they not know this? It makes me question their ability to do their job if they don’t know this basic fact.

For other people, it’s a completely reasonable question. I just get asked it A LOT.

I still will explain the facts, but I may let out a little sigh before I do.

#3: Are They Identical?

For me, as a mom of identicals, this comment isn’t the worst. My boys do have a bit of a weight and height difference, so I can understand if you might not think they are identical.

For boy/girl twins, this one is the worst.

Boys have boy parts and girls have girl parts, so no, they are NOT identical.

#4: Do They Eat/Sleep/Poop/Do Everything Together?

Yes, they like to spend time together. Yes, they do have a lot of similar interests, and are often together.

But, everything? No.

Even though they are twins, they are still individuals. They have their own likes and dislikes. They have completely different personalities.

twin comments

Yes, I may dress them alike sometimes. When they were babies, I thought it was cute, plus it was just easier to buy two of the same thing.

You do anything you can to make life easier when you have twin babies.

Now, they get mad if they don’t both have the same shirt. They don’t always choose to wear it at the same time, but if they want to, they sure can.

Mr. P likes pink and trains. Mr. C likes red and cars. Mr. C crawled first, while Mr. P climbed out of his crib first.

Yes, sometimes they have to go to the bathroom at the exact same time, but that’s a coincidence. I think.

#5: Which One Is Older?

A lot of identical twins, including mine, share a placenta, and must be delivered with minutes, if not seconds of each other.

Do those minutes or seconds really make one child older?

Still, not all identical twins share a placenta. Depending on when the egg split they may have their own. However, they still were conceived at the same time, and spent every other minute of the pregnancy together. So, I don’t think it’s unreasonable to say they are the same age..

Other people may disagree with me, but saying one twin is older than the other is not helpful to anyone. It makes my boys upset.

twin comments

What child doesn’t want to be the older one?

If you want to spark jealousy and start a fight, ask my boys this question.

I had an emergency c-section, and they were both taken out within the same minute. They have the exact same time written on their birth certificates.

While I wouldn’t expect anyone to know I had a traumatic birth experience, it’s just a silly question that doesn’t need to be asked.

I’m Still Not Mad at You

Even though I may get annoyed at the time, twin comments really don’t bother me that much. I’m too grateful and lucky to have my boys to let anything said really get me down.

So, if you can’t stop yourself from commenting the next time you see twins, that’s OK. We understand.

Twins are amazing/unique/cool/crazy, and I’m so happy I have them in my life.

 

Filed Under: Blog Tagged With: advice, birth, boy/girl twins, c-section, fraternal twins, hands full, identical twins, motherhood, parenting, questions, science, Twins

Comments

  1. Beth says

    February 22, 2019 at 3:20 pm

    This is a great post. People can be so…I’m not sure the word I’m looking for. Annoying maybe? I get a lot of comments about my son being an only child. It’s like people can’t think of anything else to say so they ask the most ridiculous questions. Here’s what I think. I think you’re a great mom and twins are pretty amazing! 🙂

    Reply
  2. Eli@CoachDaddy says

    February 23, 2019 at 1:08 am

    A lot of times we speak up without thinking! Things get so cliche. “We need the rain.” “Thank God it’s Friday.” “You have your hands full!” (I hate this last one in particular. I saw a woman help a woman with her hands full the other night, and it was a beautiful thing.

    Reply
    • Shann says

      February 25, 2019 at 11:48 am

      That is a beautiful thing!

      Reply
  3. Sally says

    February 25, 2019 at 9:40 am

    The only question I find annoying is this:-
    are they both yours?
    I have 7year old painfully identical boys even family can’t tell them apart which is a minefield all of its own but really I didn’t borrow one because it looked like mine and to date I’ve been asked this question 17 times 🤦🏻‍♀️

    Reply
    • Shann says

      February 25, 2019 at 11:47 am

      Ha! That would definitely drive me crazy too. Thanks for sharing!

      Reply
  4. Krystle says

    March 28, 2019 at 9:11 am

    My twins shared a placenta and were almost 6 hours apart. They actually have two different birthdays so we go down the rabbit hole explaining often.

    Reply
    • Shann says

      April 2, 2019 at 8:38 pm

      Wow! That’s amazing! I didn’t know doctors could/would do that for a shared placenta.

      Reply

Trackbacks

  1. March 2019 Goals: Feeling Good Inside and Out - Shann Eva's Blog says:
    March 1, 2019 at 6:01 am

    […] even more  Yes! I wrote about California, My Wellness, Twin Comments, and The Witching Hour. I also did two new Micro Preemie Mondays, which you can read here, and […]

    Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Meet Shann

Shann Hi! I'm a mom, writer, and dancer. I love sharing my parenting experiences, my healthy living tips, my money saving ideas, and our travel plans. My passion to help other women inspired this blog. I hope you'll stay a while and come back often.

Need Help Finding Something?

Follow Me

Subscribe to Blog

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Recent Posts

  • Middle Mom: Changes and Challenges February 21, 2023
  • Writing as Therapy May 16, 2022
  • COVID: The (Not) Good, The Bad, and The Ugly Guilt August 20, 2021
  • Healthy Lifestyle: Making Baby Steps Back July 27, 2021
  • 2020 Year In Review: The Highlights December 31, 2020

Facebook

Facebook
MKE Moms Blog
Copyrighted.com Registered & Protected 
M6VU-YLWL-D4JY-XAO4

Copyright © 2023 · Blog Design by Quality Websites On A Budget

We use cookies on our website to give you the most relevant experience by remembering your preferences and repeat visits. By clicking “Accept All”, you consent to the use of ALL the cookies. However, you may visit "Cookie Settings" to provide a controlled consent.
Cookie SettingsAccept All
Manage consent

Privacy Overview

This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. Out of these, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. But opting out of some of these cookies may affect your browsing experience.
Necessary
Always Enabled
Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. These cookies ensure basic functionalities and security features of the website, anonymously.
CookieDurationDescription
cookielawinfo-checkbox-analytics11 monthsThis cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Analytics".
cookielawinfo-checkbox-functional11 monthsThe cookie is set by GDPR cookie consent to record the user consent for the cookies in the category "Functional".
cookielawinfo-checkbox-necessary11 monthsThis cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookies is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Necessary".
cookielawinfo-checkbox-others11 monthsThis cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Other.
cookielawinfo-checkbox-performance11 monthsThis cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Performance".
viewed_cookie_policy11 monthsThe cookie is set by the GDPR Cookie Consent plugin and is used to store whether or not user has consented to the use of cookies. It does not store any personal data.
Functional
Functional cookies help to perform certain functionalities like sharing the content of the website on social media platforms, collect feedbacks, and other third-party features.
Performance
Performance cookies are used to understand and analyze the key performance indexes of the website which helps in delivering a better user experience for the visitors.
Analytics
Analytical cookies are used to understand how visitors interact with the website. These cookies help provide information on metrics the number of visitors, bounce rate, traffic source, etc.
Advertisement
Advertisement cookies are used to provide visitors with relevant ads and marketing campaigns. These cookies track visitors across websites and collect information to provide customized ads.
Others
Other uncategorized cookies are those that are being analyzed and have not been classified into a category as yet.
SAVE & ACCEPT