Do you have a Word of the year?
I’m not sure how long this concept has been around, but I first became familiar with a “word of the year” in 2016. Since then, I haven’t done it consistently each year, but I decided to try it again for 2020.
If you’re not familiar, the premise is to pick a word that will shape your year. It can be something that you want to work on, a direction you want to take in your life, or just a general focus.
At first, the prospect of having just one word be a guide for the whole year seemed daunting to me. Then, as I thought about it, I saw how it could work.
But, how to choose?
I’m sure each person has their own method for choosing, so I will share mine. I don’t just pick the first thing that comes to my head, but instead, take some time to think about it. Not only do I think about what I want to accomplish this year, but I reflect on what I struggled with last year.
For me, writing is a good way to hash out the possibilities. I love making lists and crossing things off. So, that’s the approach I take when it comes to choosing my word of the year.
I break my list into two columns: Accomplishments and Setbacks
In a year when I didn’t think I had done much, this sure put it into perspective. It also gave me another push to my word. Something that kept coming up over and over again in everything I wrote:
The thing that tipped me over the edge was a gift from one of my best friends. For Christmas, she gave me a bracelet that said, ” Dream, Believe, Achieve.”
That settled that.
Why this word of the year
As you’ve noticed, my writing hasn’t been very consistent lately. Not only have I lost motivation, but I’ve lost confidence. I don’t believe in myself or that my writing is any good.
The submissions for Micro Preemie Monday have not been coming in, and I feel like I’ve lost a huge chunk of my audience. Social media and email subscribers seem stagnant.
It’s not only the blog, but I feel self-doubt creeping into other areas of my life. Social media has a way of making comparisons to others too easy. Anxiety also reinforces all of those thoughts on a loop.
Am I where I should be in my life? What have I really accomplished? Why is everyone else doing so great? Those are just a few examples. I know that most people only show their highlight reel, but it’s easy to get caught up in all those pretty pictures.
I’ve also lost the fun.
Not all the time, of course, but I’m upset more than happy. I get stressed easily and snap. Again, anxiety is a big part of this, but luckily, I’m working on it.
So, when I think about all of these things, I decide how I can move forward. How to make changes. I realized that I need to look within. I don’t need to focus on the outside, but shift my own thinking.
It’s all pretty scary
It’s scary for me to put all of this out here. Hard to let others know what’s going on inside my head. However, this blog really helps keep me accountable. So does repetition. Don’t they say, “Fake it until you make it?”
I need to believe in myself in order for others to follow.
Believe I can succeed, but also believe that it’s OK to fall down, or even backwards sometimes.
I need to believe I’m a good mom, wife, and teacher. I’m enough no matter what it is that I do.
Yes, I am good at pretending I’ve got it all together sometimes, but if I don’t believe it myself, it doesn’t matter. At the end of the day, we’re each responsible for our own happiness.
I want to believe in magic again. Believe in happiness, that good will eventually win out, and that people get what they deserve.
So, I’m going to work hard at letting go of self-doubt and truly believing in myself.
It may all sound a little out there, but that’s OK. I’m the one who needs to believe it.
Will you join me on my journey? What is your word of the year?