Running
Running has never been a favorite of mine. Even though I was on the track team in middle school, I did the long jump and the hurdles. When I would go to the gym in college, it was always the stair stepper or the elliptical. Running was just not my thing.
Now, it seems like I can’t get away from running…both literally and figuratively.
The Striders
My oldest, Mr. B, just joined a running club, which has prompted the literal part of this post. He meets with the club Mondays and Wednesdays after school for six weeks. They set goals, learn about stretching, and run around the school. He loves it.
I volunteered to help out for one of the practices, and I started to get nervous. I want to keep up with Mr. B!
With my lack of steps on my Fitbit, I decided I need to add some running into my fitness routine. So, before my strength classes at the gym, I get on the treadmill.
So far, it’s only been for 10 minutes and about a mile two days a week. Even though that may not seem like much, it feels like an accomplishment to me. I’m not completely winded when I’m done, and I’m still able to have a fairly good workout in my class. It’s funny that going nowhere in the gym has actually made me feel like I’m going somewhere and making progress.
At Home
As I mentioned in my goals, I was having a hard time getting in my 10,000 steps on my Fitbit. Even though I feel like I’m running most of the day, in reality, I do sit a lot.
I’m sitting down right now writing this post.
So, in addition to the treadmill, I’ve really been paying attention to the reminders on my Fitbit, and getting up each hour to complete my steps. I hit 10,000 steps four times last week. I also did run up and down my basement stairs, in place watching TV, and did many laps around Target. It all counts, right?
I’ve noticed that doing chores is a great way to get steps in. Even things like folding and putting away the laundry ups my activity level. It may not be fun, but it’s productive.
The One Problem
The other thing that continues to run lately? My mind.
I’m still adjusting to my new medication, weaning off my old one, and I’m struggling. My emotions are all over the place, I’m not sleeping well, and I have a very short temper. I’m exhausted.
Obviously, my boys don’t understand. They couldn’t possibly.
In fact, Mr. B told me that it scares him when I yell. It completely broke my heart.
I don’t want to be the mean, scary mommy that has to yell to get things done. It just feels like no one listens to me any other way. Even when I raise my voice, no one is listening.
So, obviously, I need to find another way.
It’s something I”ve struggled with in the past, and it seems to have snuck back up on me. I’m not sure when the yelling started again, but I do know that it has to stop.
The sleep and medication play a role, but that doesn’t mean I don’t have control. It’s a lot harder, but it’s important for everyone in my family. Including me.
Running in Circles
I think I actually may (or may not) love to learn to run on a treadmill, outside, or even on a track, but I will not keep running in circles when it comes to my parenting or my life.
When I chose my word of the year, balance, I didn’t realize just how important it would become. It really is something I need right now. I’m not going to run away from my problems, and instead run towards that balance. I will continually look for different solutions and techniques until I find something that works.
Suggestions are always welcome, as well as kind thoughts. And maybe even a running partner.
You’re on the right track to balance it sounds like! Adjusting to new meds is hard. That is no joke for sure. You’re doing awesome on getting your steps in and getting the running in too! I am just waiting for the ground to clear up enough and then I’m getting back to running outside too. I don’t have a treadmill so it’s kind of my only option. If I lived by you I’d totally be your running partner! You’re doing awesome mama, keep it up!
I am never going to be a runner, but that’s okay! I’m glad you are enjoying and that Mr. B loves his running club. I definitely need to try and get more steps in throughout the week. My job includes a lot of sitting so it can be tough sometimes! I’m working on it. And I’m sorry you haven’t been feeling great lately – med changes aren’t fun. I hope this new one starts working well though and you’ll feel less temperamental!!! You got this!! 🙂
-Lauren
It’s great that you’ve been running! I hated it growing up but now I swear it’s become a beautiful outlet of pent up energy in my body and mind! Also, I know this is a little different, but I’ve been finding myself getting so frustrated with my puppy. We have moments where he’s getting better on a leash but still many more that are just AWFUL and make the walk something I often dread. Something I’ve found helpful is when I find myself wanting to tug him to listen, I stop, close my eyes, take a few deep breaths, and even if we continue on our walk and he’s still tugging, those few breaths help remind me that the more frustrated I am, the more he’s going to be too which doesn’t serve anyone.
Hey sweetie,
I think running will reap you far more benefits than you think it will and if it’s helping your mental health, power on sister.
I think I would’ve cried too if my son said I scare him when I yell. I feel like that’s how I’d be as a parent, I’d have to yell to get my point across and be heard. Hell, I do that now without kids but that’s another story for another day. *eye roll*
I really do wish there was an easier method of switching meds. That shit takes time and it takes a toll on your body. The last crap I was on maybe 5 years ago, it kicked the crap out of me for two-three weeks and I just felt wretched, like I had the flu. But I lasted six months before I pulled the plug on that when I started having major allergic reactions all over my body and then anaphylaxis. Again, another story for another day lol, but It’s just crappy that you’ve gotta wean yourself off, get back on another and then wait for it all to kick in. And it may not even work, it’s all trial and error. I found that to be frustrating as hell.
Hang in there my love. Deep breaths, in through the nose, out through the mouth and have faith. You will get through and over this hump my dear.
Always here for you if you need me. xoxoxo
Obviously, I have no idea which meds you are on, but I’d definitely mention it to your doctor. If it’s for antidepressants, I hope you’re getting meds through a psychiatrist. They do a much better job of fine-tuning prescriptions. Best of luck to you!